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Invasion of The Pony Tails Strippers: Part Five: What a Wonderful World

Script By: Teri Cross Chetwood
Humor


The final chapter in the BruceK/Teri crossover. Eat your heart out, Stephen King! :)


Submitted:Jan 20, 2013    Reads: 19    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   


Invasion of the Pony Tails Strippers
Part 5: What a Wonderful World



TERI: 'Hi, Teri'? Is that all you have to say, bitch? I can't leave you alone for a second, Gretchen. If you're not running off creating your own Booksie account, you're violating my copyright by appearing in Bruce's scripts.

BRUCEK: Hey! This wasn't my idea.

*Two miniature poodles come running up and jump up at Bruce and Teri*

TERI: Maul! Swallow! Did mommy's babies miss me? Huh?

ROSE: Oh, my achin' quartz! The ground is hard as a... me. You okay, Mary Jane?

MARY JANE: What a trip. That's it, I'm getting off the drugs. Sign, line, chair. Are you guys okay?

LINE: I'm straight.

SIGN: I currently read 'F'ed Up'. What do you think? And chair looks like one of those kneeling chairs.

CHAIR: A little reupholstering, I'll be fine.

BRUCEK (brushing off the poodle): You look like a disassembled exercise machine, chair.

CHAIR: No, honestly. A little fabric, some Scotchguarding, I'm ready for the Laz-Y-Boy showroom.

FRIEDA: I don't mean to be an ungrateful character, but get me the F*CK OUTTA THIS TREE!!

SHADOWCAT: Ain't no way t' treat yo' moneymakers, Teri.

BRUCEK: Hold on, ladies.

*Bruce whips out his notebook and starts writing. Suddenly, chair is restored, John is fine, and Frieda and Shadowcat are standing on the ground*

CHAIR: Star Wars fabric pattern. Cool!

TERI: Damn! I've gotta get me one of those notebooks. All these years, I've been doing it the hard way.

BRUCEK: It's available as an Android app, too.

TERI: I'll talk to Thea... So is this it? The end?

BRUCEK: I guess so. Huh! I thought there'd be a big bang at the end.

GRETCHEN: There would be, but I'm not much on group sex.

FRIEDA: I'll stick around for that.

SHADOWCAT: You would.

LI'L BIT: Hey, what about the car? It's still back in Arizona.

BRUCEK: Sorry, I'm out of room in the notebook.

BIANCA: You mean we have to walk? All the way to Arizona? Do you know how many kilometers that is?

GRETCHEN: No, but in miles, it's -

SHADOWCAT: Jus' start walkin', fellow-babies. They gonna be a ton of men who give us a ride.

FRIEDA: All of us? He better be driving a bus by himself.

MARY JANE: Can we come?

*Shadowcat grabs chair*

SHADOWCAT: A place to sit when we tired, a relaxin' smoke, and a rock to throw at drivers who don't stop. That all we need.

SIGN: We'll see you guys back in Arizona.

LINE: Just follow me.

JOHN: Wait for me. Five strippers all the way to AZ? I am SO there!

*All of the characters exit, leaving BruceK and Teri alone.*

TERI: The dogs are hungry. You wanna have lunch at my place, Bruce?

BRUCEK: Sure. What's cooking?

*They start walking toward the house*

TERI: All I have is dry toast.

BRUCEK: In a house that big?

TERI: Um, yeah. Sure. Just dry toast. Honest.

BRUCEK: I'll teach you how to make stone soup, kid. Then you'll never be hungry.

TERI: Cooool!

BRUCEK: Teri, why are we walking into the sunset when we're heading east?

TERI: It's a metaphor.

BRUCEK: Only women get that, when they get older.

TERI: No, that's menopause.

BRUCEK: I thought that was the button on a DVD player.

*Cue Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World"*

Ohhhhh, Yeahhhhh!


THE END






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