(all the boys are dressed up in burberry hats, trackies etc. the general chav gear. Fagin comes on dressed like a full on gangsta with loads of ‘ice’ and bling bling. Nancy is the typical Vicky Pollard preggers and everything smoking a fag in the corner.)

 

FAGIN:

In this life, nothing’s free,

Can’t get by with 20p,

Rob your Mam,

Sell your caravan,

Or simply mug a granny or two

 

You’ve got to mug a granny or two, boys,

You’ve got to mug a granny or two.

 

BOYS:

Burberry’s too dear for me,

I have to mug a granny or two.

 

FAGIN:

 

We work hard, to pay our fees,

Selling copied DVD’s,

Flog what you can,

Out the back of a van,

Or simply mug a granny or two

 

You’ve got to mug a granny or two, boys,

You’ve got to mug a granny or two.

 

 

BOYS:

Alloy wheels make money deals,

Just nick ‘em off a Subaru.

 

FAGIN:

 Who says crime doesn’t pay?

 

Why should we, break our backs,

Just to eat Snack-a-jacks,

Live like me,

Eat KFC,

With tasty chicken pieces for two

 

Just get out and mug a granny or two, boys

Get out and mug a granny or two.

 

BOYS:

Maccy D’s and KFC’s,

Finger licking chicken for you.

 

FAGIN:

In caravans, we hide out,

On the ASDA roundabout,

If you get bored,

Commit benefit fraud,

Or go and have a baby or two.

 

You’ve got to mug a granny or two, boys,

You’ve got to mug a granny or two.

 

 

 

BOYS:

Everything’s nice when it’s ASDA price,

It’s easy to rob there too.

 

FAGIN:

Nancy here, just 13,

Already she’s our ASBO queen,

Battered off glue,

And special brew,

You’ve got to sniff a pritt-stick or two,

 

You’ve got to sniff a pritt-stick or two, MAAATE

You have to sniff a pritt-stick or two.

 

BOYS:

She’s more fleas then GCSE’s,

Because she’s always high off glue.

 

FAGIN:

Dodger has robber’s hands,

Along with 20 reprimands,

High IQ’s won’t buy his shoes,

He has to mug a granny or two.

 

He has to mug a granny or two, boys

He has to mug a granny or two.