Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Mrs Smith and The Vampire

Short story By: 122333MexicanPeanut122333
Humor



Old Granny Smith's eyesight isn't what it used to be; so how will she reply to a vampire?


Submitted:May 13, 2008    Reads: 362    Comments: 5    Likes: 4   


The vampire eyes opened to reveal blood-red eyes. His cold, white hand slipped out of the tomb, as he swept his way down the Old English street. He was in a blood-thirst, and a large one at that. The vampire had awoken. He avoided the sharp lamplight, instead sticking to the shadows, playing his part as every child's nightmare. He needed prey, and fast. The vampire had awoken. He gazed up at the window, where his tender prize stood. Her blood was his request, then he would mercilessly leave her for the other humans to find. The vampire had awoken. Meanwhile, Old Granny Smith, inside the house, opened up the door. "Oh, Billy, dear!" she said, in a wavering voice. "How's my favourite nephew? Come in, come in!" The vampire was confused. Billy? The human thought he was her nephew! And she sounded too old and dry; almost tasteless blood, probably. But his blood frenzy made him walk in. "Would you like a cup of cocoa?" she asked, passing him a steaming mug, which she clumsily slopped all over his lap. The vampire shrieked. "How dare you? I-" Granny Smith Frowned. "Oh deary me, I suppose we'll just have to let it cool." The vampire groaned. It was already a bad night! Now he was thirsty beyond belief... "Put on your bib, there's a good boy..." she chuckled, tying a bib around her victim's neck. Then, the elderly woman brandished a spoonful of gross-looking yoghurt. "Here comes the helicopter!" she said, shoving it mercilessly into his mouth. The poor vampire just spat it out again. He didn't want yoghurt, he wanted blood! He sighed. "Oh! Was that a yawn?" the old crone said, pinching the vampire cold, dead cheek. "Brush your teeth!" Granny Smith shoved a yellowing toothbrush into the vampire's mouth. Being a vampire, his abnormally large fangs snapped it in two. "Oh my! Never mind. Put on your pajamas!" Then, with surprising strength, the grandma shoved some teddy-bedecked pajamas around his neck. She was almost choking him! If he didn't pull them off, he'd die!...again... "Now, beddy byes, my little sweetie." The vampire was furious. "Actually, I think I better..." "No, no staying up! In you go!" She tucked him into the patchwork bed so tightly that he could barely breathe in or out. "Billy?" "Yes-gulp-Grandma?" "Would you like me to tell you a story?" Old Granny Smith had come to the end of the line. That's the final straw... "That's it!" shouted the vampire. "I just came here because I was thirsty for blood, but I never thought, in all my years as one of the undead, I never thought I would meet an old bat like you!" But as he leant over for a delicious bite, the sun came streaming in through the window, and he disintegrated to dust. Granny Smith tutted. "What a naughty boy." she said. "He leave crumbs all over the floor!" Granny Smith swept away the vampire's remains and settled down to watch The Bold And The Beautiful. Life was finally peaceful. The End!




4

| Email this story Email this Short story | Add to reading list



Reviews

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.