In celebration (mockery) of the Breaking Dawn release tommorow..

Bat was a friendly creature, and everyone in the cave enjoyed his company. He was an excellent hunter and would often share his food with those less skilled. However, it was a common misconception amongst humans that all bats were frightening little monsters.

Bat was out hunting one night when he saw the human city. Oh dear, he thought I'm far from the cave. He was about to turn back and fly away when a side of a building lit up and blinded him. It was a giant television screen, and it's light pierced through the dark night.

Bat instinctively covered his eyes with his wings, and plummeted to a low tree branch. The sun began to rise, and Bat had to sleep there, clinging to the tree's bark.

The beast saw something in the tree. It wasn't a bird; it had fur. The beast sniffed the air. It was definitely a mammal, a very small one. As the beast advanced forward a branch grazed it's shoulder and shook the leaves. The mammal rose suddenly. It's nocturnal! The beast thought. A bat!

Bat, whom was used to the security of a cave and a colony, was jittery. He woke suddenly at the sound of rustling leaves. "Who's there?" he squeaked. The rustling got closer. Bat jumped off the branch and flew as fast as he could.

The Beast grabbed the bat, and stuck it in a cage. The Beast carried the cage, towards the city. Bat was put in an even bigger cage, with several other bats. "The police are after me, you see," the Beast cooed to Bat. "They know what I am." The Beast chuckled to itself, and put Bat down in the cage.

The next evening, Bat was put into the smaller cage with three other bats. The Beast carried them under his arm, and strolled into a building. "What will he do with us?" Bat whispered. "We don't know, any bat he's ever taken never comes back," one of the other bats said.

The Beast sniffed the air, and picked up the scent of a human. It licked its lips hungrily. The human he smelled turned the corner. "Oh, hello there," he said. "Can I help you?" The Beast walked forward. "Yes, you can." The beast jumped forward and grabbed the human's throat.

"It's a vampire!" Bat said in horror. "So what?" the other bats whispered. Bat turned to face his colleagues. "He's going to frame us if the police come!"

Wee-Ooo, Wee-Ooo! Red Lights flashed through the window. The police came in, and saw the vampire. "Open fire!" one of them said. The vampire turned the corner, and released one of the bats from the cage. The bat swooped to avoid the police's bullets and flew to a nearby air vent.

The Vampire ran down the corridor, and released another bat. The police fired at it, but missed. It escaped out the window. Bat was the only one left in the cage. The Vampire ran around another corner, and released Bat. Bat followed the Vampire, in order to show the police what he was doing. The Vampire jumped out a window, and closed it before Bat could escape.

The police turned the corner, and saw Bat. Mistaking him for the Vampire, they shot and killed him. That, my fiends, is the reason we have court trials, so innocent bats don't get murdered for a Vampire's crimes.

Ze end.