My head felt as if it had been hit with a sledge hammer. My right arm stung like it had been scalded with boiling water, and my knees ached. I moaned in pain as tears started to flow down my cheeks. "What the hell just happened?"
My brain raced to understand and make sense out of the pain I was in. Had an intruder entered the bedroom and pounded me into this state with a hammer or some other horrible instrument of death?
I called out to my husband weakly, but got no immediate response.
Had I been in some sort of car accident, and only thought I was at home sleeping in my bed?
If so, I was hoping my husband was getting the plate number of the car that hit me.
I slowing began coming to my senses, as I felt the cold hard surface beneath me and realized I was lying on the floor of my bedroom! My Shih Tzu, Raleigh, had been sleeping in his crate beside the bed, and now he was whimpering to get out. Apparently I had hit his crate and slid it over by about two feet.
It was only then that I fully understood what had happened to me. I had fallen off the bed!
My husband came running into our bedroom. "Honey, what happened? Are you ok?" Assuring him of no broken bones, he helped me climb back into bed.
Now I am sixty years old, and to the best of my recollection, I have NEVER fallen out of a bed in my whole life. It was a surreal experience, and I only became able to laugh about it several days later, while recounting my story to my daughter.
We were on non-video Skype. She has a wicked sense of humor, and I mean that literally. She laughingly told me she would send a helmet for me to wear while I slept from now on. I was expecting at least a minimal amount of concern and sympathy…not.
Later, as we continued to talk, I guess I fell silent for a moment, and she asked, "Mom, did you fall out of your chair? Maybe you should install seatbelts on it, just for safety's sake." She was laughing hysterically.
Later in the week, I called my elderly eighty-two year old mother. I thought perhaps she would be the one to offer concern and calm my total feeling of stupidity at having fallen from my bed.
I started the conversation in a way that would not cause her alarm. "Mom, I had an accident the other night, but don't worry, I am fine."
Sure enough, I could hear great concern in her voice as she asked me what had happened.
I began telling her all about it, when I heard this muffled laughter on the other end of the phone.
"Mom, are you laughing? " I couldn't believe my ears!
Though barely able to stop laughing long enough to say, "I'm sorry honey, but that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time."
"But mom, I have bruise on my forehead, and a big scrape on my arm"… my voice trailed off due to another burst of laughter from my loving mother.
I should be happy that I didn't fall from the roof of my house; she and my daughter would have laughed for weeks!
This is a true story…I swear. You can't make this stuff up.
But, in all honesty, we all have a sense of humor and I didn't take their laughter or comments to heart. I know they love me…I am pretty sure they love me. Guys, you DO love me don't you? Do I hear laughter?