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Intellectual Conversation

Short story By: Brian A Garber

This is one of the smartest short stories you will ever read!

Submitted:Jan 17, 2014    Reads: 325    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   

Intellectual Conversation

Ronald and Alistair are probably the two smartest people ever to hold a conversation. Both were very successful men in the business world: Ronald was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and Alistair was British. What made these two gentlemen very smart was in fact not their doctorate degrees from prestigious universities, but their keen ability to disagree with anything simply by calling it "hogwash".

Now hogwash has been used since the middle ages as the universal disagreer, but what does it actually mean? Theoretically washing a how should be a good thing in my opinion, they are factually known as dirty creatures. Well it came to my surprise the answer for this question of where the term "hogwash" came from. I asked countless thousands what they believed the answer to be. According to several scientists and even more English degree holders, all whom would like to remain anonymous and not real, the term hogwash dates back to the early 1100's to King King, yes the King's last name was King. I had a hard time finding information on King King but I did find a few ways to refinance my mortgage. Turns out King was the ruler of the lost city of Atlantis in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. That was not really hard to find information about which is really surprising given the fact that no one seems to know where the sunken city is, but they seem to have the entire history of it. Anyways, to get back on track, not the first track about the two guys that we both have forgotten the names of, but the second track about hogwash, King King first used this term after losing a game of Texas Hold'em to his enemy Lord Funk. King found out Lord Funk cheated and after his servant/maid/timekeeper was done washing the King's hogs; the King grabbed the back of Lord Funk's giant afro and slammed his face into the dirty water and yelled in what is to be believed in the first time in history, "Hogwash!" Lord Funk would have his revenge four years later by creating disco, thus killing King King forever.

Sadly enough this would not be the last time that phrase was used. I remember when I was a child reading a story in I believe the newspaper about a child and his father. Both the child and his father were riding in a car together driven by Fear, they were rich so they had a driver whose name happened to by Fear. The son pointed out the window and said, "That's hogwash". His father replied, "That's a factory, son". I do not remember the rest of the story except the child grew up to be a paper shredder at a paper factory in Oklahoma and later in life was a three time lottery winner.

Okay I almost forgot about the two intelligent gentlemen in the beginning of the story. One was from England, and the other collected baseball cards, well they had such a great and intellectual conversation that they could have become rich in knowledge.

An interesting postscript to all of these stories is what happened to Lord Funk. After he created disco, Lord Funk wanted to become even richer so he created hogwash cereal for kids.

The moral of this story is, "Sometimes getting hurt can make you say, "ow", sometimes small dogs can do tricks that make you say, "wow!""


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