My zombie boyfriend ripping my friend apart, / the ripping, squishing of flesh and the snap of small bones fills my ears. / Suddenly, I feel oddly hungry. Oh look! A Wendy's! / The smell is driving me crazy, I think I might spontaneously combust. / I run towards the door when a zombie dog tries to bite my head off, so I kick its face in; No one comes between me and food! / Just me and my hamburgers.. --Oh shit! I apparently attracted a mob... /
I barricade the doors with everything I have. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I spin around about to lunge when, / I grab a frying pan and kill the fat, manager zombie. But strangely enough, / the other zombies surrounding me retreat because they are distracted by / Harry Potter and his friends flying in on their broomsticks. /While they were chasing them, I decide to make some food. / Walking out of the Wendy's, my burger and I, I see across the road a magical Rainbow / unicorn, leader of the unicorn land! Finally I'm saved!
He kicked an approaching zombie with his hind leg, walked over to me and said: / Get on my back or I will eat you! And your burger too! / So without complaining I jump on his back and "poof", we're five feet from where we were. / "Really? That was so far! It's amazing beyond words!" I said glaring at him. All he seemed good for was / fetching drinks from the fridge when no one feels like getting up. But then, with a thundering boom, Harry Potter shows up out of nowhere and attempts to / attack the unicorn with a five foot pole. / Suddenly a portal opens and the unicorn / jumps ahead of me, barely holding on through the portal; Next thing I know I see sparkles! It's Edward Cullen! / "Oh great.. Mystical fairy vampire man is here to join the party.." He chuckled darkly and shoved the useless rainbow unicorn into the portal. However, after kicking a few zombies in the face he realized that his angsty, annoying girlfriend wasn't there and disappeared into another portal.
Well shit. "Screw you too then, team Jacob is better anyways, you twat!" Harry Potter was now gnawing on my arm, and I was now doomed. I also noticed that Ron took my burger (that ass) -- apparently isn't in the mood for brains. *Sigh* I guess this is the end. Goodbye cruel world. /