I do not own Star Trek and any of its characters or ideas. I
do not own any of the songs used.
Q's gay curiosity for Picard expressed by Katty Perry
This takes place on the holadeck, when the Jean-Luc goes there to
quietly relax in an old empty English bar. He is sitting on a bar
stool by the bar when he is suddenly joined by unexpected Q.
"You know what your problem is Picard?", Asks Q.
"I'm not in the mood for your stupid jokes Q", Picard replied,
shocked to see him.
"Oh you never are Picard, which is the problem…
You change your mind like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS like a Bitch I would know
And you always think, always speak cryptically
I should know that you're no good for me
'Cause you're hot and you're cold
You're yes and you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down"
"Shut up Q", Shouted Picard, "What the hell are you going on
"Well Picard", Q explained with his eyebrows raised,
"You know you want me,
but it takes more than a wink
And more than a drink, more than you think
If you want me you're gonna
Have to break the bank tonight"
"Don't make me laugh Q", Picard sniggers, "Me and you?, Me and
"Well why not? Think about it?" teasingly says Q,
"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, we'll be young forever
You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's runaway and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real, so take a chance
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back"
"Do know what Q?", smiles Picard, "Two can play the singing game,
want to hear my song?"
"I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don't eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You're so indie rock it's almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive
You're so gay!"
"Feisty", Q replied, "I love it"
Q leans over to Picard very suddenly and pecks him on the lips.
"Q", shouted an angry Picard, "you dick, get lost", as he tired
to spit out Q's germs.
Meanwhile Q had a gleaming smile on his face,
"This was never the way I planned, not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion
It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you caught my attention
I kissed Picard and I liked it, the taste of his cherry chapstick
I kissed Picard just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't mean I'm in love
I kissed Picard and I liked it… I liked it"
"Fuck off… Dick" Picard mutters as he walks out the door.