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The Avant Garde Artist

Short story By: Ethan01
Humor


A summary would ruin it!Just read on and laugh!!:-D


Submitted:Mar 8, 2013    Reads: 88    Comments: 0    Likes: 1   


James came to me with a pink flush in his face with a piece of paper.I knew what was to come.I felt a bit afraid.I didn't want to be the first critic of his sketch.I had enough experience of his drawing.

"How's it?"He asked with glee before putting his nose up awaiting my verdict with the patience of a preacher."Hmm..."
While I attempted to deduce what he has drawn,which is tougher than solving a math problem,I wish to enlighten you all of this wonderkid...

He was my roommate,well more of a hostelmate.He was a very lively 12 year old and had great passion for drawing.But the problem was,he just couldn't.All our efforts to dissuade him had been in vain.Once he had drawn a portrait of Miss Wood,our science teacher and gifted that to her.Miss Wood,young,thin,weak hearted and always a little nervous had stared at the picture for five seconds and then fell unconscious.After we revived her,she had burst into tears and it had taken our joint efforts to convince her that she still had a pretty face and was worth marrying.We ourselves had judged the picture to be too harsh.It simply didn't look like her.It looked as if a severed baboon's head with a hideous wig was delicately balanced over a stick.

So you can imagine my dilemma by now.No emotion arose within me.Except pity.Pity for James.I decided to be a bit philanthropic."Well,is this a house crow?and er,why is it wearing underwear?"
"No,you stupid!"James made a face."That is Batman.Fighting with a bunch of goons!"
Oh,I forgot to mention.James was a huge Bat-fan.And I can assure you that the caped crusader would have taken voluntary retirement if he by mistake saw any of James' drawings.I didn't know what to say.Words failed me.

"Watcha doing?"Edward said as he came towards us.James,having found a new critic held his masterpiece in front of him with a Mona-Lisa smile."How is it?!"
Edward blanched."What is this?Eww,looks like a bat is pooping."
"What!A bat pooping!??"James screamed."That's batman throwing batarangs at a couple of goons!"
"Oooh.."Edward went into a state of daze.

"Hey guys!"We were joined by Charlie & Daniel now.
James took no risk now.
"How's this pic of batman?"
"Umm,what are the other guys doing?"Charlie asked scratching his head."What do you think they are?"James gave an isn't-it-too-obvious expression.
"Hmm...Are they trying to pull batman's undies off?"Daniel asked with a deadpan expression.I fought back a laugh with immense difficulty."Good heavens,how can you even think of that????!!!"James was hysterical."He is fighting them!"
"And why is this guy holding his buttocks?"Edward quizzed pointing at a goon.Moot point,I thought."Maybe he's afraid that they might fall off"Charlie declared.I couldn't help but grin.
"Argh!NO!!He's trying to take out his gun from his pants!"James shouted,his face red by now.

"Boy,this Batman looks as if he had been molested.And is this goon wearing a towel?"Daniel said with concern.This was too much.James waved his arms and legs and shrieked,"AARGH!I will never show my drawings to you people.You don't know how to appreciate art!!"
"He has a point"I said and we started laughing.At this point James face was beyond picturisation.He would have put a langoor to shame."Grrr!Anyone else has anything to say?"James said between gritted teeth.

"Umm,does this batman wear lingerie?"I doubtfully asked.
James gave me a dirty look."Why do you ask?"
"Then what is this yellow thing?"I pointed to the batman's chest.
"Aaugh!that's the bat symbol!!"At this point the colour of his face was such that it could compete with tomato ketchup.

Poor James.Our merciless laughter added insult to injury.He did some mixture of red indian dance and complex acrobatics calling us all names he could find.Lastly he tore up the picture and fuming left the room.

"Wish I had a camera.His nimble movements were picturesque"Charlie regretted sadly.
"Why do you think we are not able to appreciate his art?"Edward asked gravely.
"Maybe he is too avant garde"I said,and we all noded with assent at this epic conclusion...





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