When I was eight years old I idolized my uncle Dave. He was, as I would have described him back then, "The funniest man on the planet!" He would always make jokes to my brother and I that most adults would save for happy hour - which was the only time I thought adults hung out together - but he would never hold back on us.
One day a few of his jokes left me puzzled, though. Whenever we were in the care of our uncle Dave, he would often take us to the bar he worked at. The day his jokes stumped me was when a young woman, Bela, was behind the bar. My uncle talked to her in a way that my Catholic school certainly would not have approved of.
"Hey, I like that bun in your hair, but I prefer the buns under your shirt," my uncle told her.
"What does he mean?" I thought. "Does she have buns, like the bread, hiding under her shirt? Why would she do that?"
My uncle carried on.
"You look tired, Bela. Do you need a seat? Because my face is available," he drunkingly chuckled.
"Why would anyone sit on someone else's face? That would hurt, and worst of all, it's just plain mean," I kept telling myself. We were always taught not to fight in grade school, and back then, sitting on someone's face sounded like fighting, not something I'd catch on late night cable a few years later. Was my uncle Dave really asking a girl to fight? That's not very Catholic, I thought.
Later I found these remarks quite funny. Not only because my uncle Dave has the comic timing of a pro, but because Bela was his girlfriend at the time. I only found this out because they married a few years later. To this day, Dave still tells her how he prefers the buns under her shirt.