It is 2007, and while Australia debates the wholesale introduction of Genetically Modified Foods into the economy, and certain politicians pocket an envelop or three, two CSIRO scientists are secretly conducting experiments to determine the effects of genetically modified foods on farm animals. One is a veterinarian, the other a geneticist. Let these two brave bureaucrats remain unidentified, lest they loose their jobs for experimenting without Monsanto’s permission. We will simply call them doctors Grynn and Barrett.

In the world outside their laboratory the nation rages over the safety of genetic modifications, and Monsanto dreams of gargantuan profits through its monopoly on certain seeds. But here, safe, for the meantime, in their barn the two scientists slave day and night to determine the effects of genetically modified grains on livestock. Great patience is called for, as they await the manifestations of any mutations. The stress is wearying. If the animals are to show any symptomatic changes it should be soon.

Eventually, Dr. Grynn succumbs to the debilitating tedium, and must take some stress leave.  Off he goes to the Gold Coast, for two week’s rest, while Dr. Barrett is left to watch over their primary experiment, a brown dairy cow. Yet even in the midst of Queensland’s sunshine he cannot disengage his mind from his work. Ever the worrier, after a week on the Great Barrier Reef he emails Doctor Barrett: “How now, brown cow?”

 The reply came back: “ No change. Expecting results in a few days.”

After two more days of nervous anticipation, Doctor Grynn emailed his confederate: “How now, brown cow?”

Back came the reply: “Dangers of Genetic Modification confirmed. Cow now Brown Sow.”