The tale of Penny did not begin well,
Her beauty transformed by an evil old spell,
For while, her good looks they did remain,
Her personality had vastly changed.
She glanced in the mirror at her beautiful face,
No make up? Oh my days! What a disgrace,
She set about seeing what she could scavenge,
And when she came back her skin was bright orange.
She wore tracksuit bottoms ever so tight,
Her arse hung out left and her stomach out right,
A t-shirt so small her tits were on show,
And off she went with a tango-like glow.
She hung out with men with their hands down their pants,
Decided she wanted some huge breast implants,
Had drunken relationships which were very complex,
And regularly enjoyed her unprotected sex.
She’d fuck in her classroom, fuck in the shed,
Have sex anywhere that wasn’t a bed,
She began to use words that didn’t exist,
Spent most of her time getting pissed.
She’d get into fights, happy slapping mates,
Her parents now in desperate straits,
She changed her name so instead of a “y”,
It would be spelled P e n n "i".
Penni the chav had ruined her life,
Causing nothing but trouble and strife,
Her virginity lost to a middle aged man,
Her body scarred by a fluorescent tan.
Realising this she ran away,
And cried and wished she’d die today,
But then she saw a figure loom,
Draped in a heavy black costume.
He bent down to Penni gentle and slow,
His perfect face as white as snow,
She saw in his eyes what she had done,
To poor old dad, and dear old mum.
“Don’t worry” he said, “I’ll answer your prayer”,
For he was the legendary chavslayer,
He placed his hands behind her hair,
And touched her face, her skin so fair.
She feared for her life, for it was said,
Any chav that crossed him was dead,
But smiling within all the midst,
Her lips he tenderly kissed.
Penni had never been kissed before,
Not like this, and she wanted more,
The chavslayer knew of her story see,
So set out to set dear Penny free.
Penny was back; the spell had been broken,
And her love for the chavslayer remains unbroken,
Destiny had bought them fun times and laughter,
And allowed them to live happily ever after.
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