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Spot of English Humor

Short story By: Khano

A humorous conversation that ensues between a shallow girl of atypical talk and a boy well versed in his language.
No idea what this constitutes as. *shrugs* oh well...

Submitted:Nov 28, 2011    Reads: 70    Comments: 9    Likes: 4   

Girl: Hi there, gorgeous.

Boy: I will respond to the social convention.... hi. But I will not reiterate the latter of your greeting. I do not lie.

Girl: Omg you're funny! How you doin'?

Boy: Therin lies such ambiguity. Would this be a question pertaining to my health, to the climate of my mood or to a condition which is beyond my undertstanding?

Girl: [blinking] Uh...well....y'know... you?

Boy: This does not conform to my confusion.

Girl: Ok.

Boy: You are oblivious to my facile language are you not?

Girl: Er...Sure.

Boy: So if, perhaps I were to abase you or degrade you, in utter discourtsey, you would remain oblivious?

Girl: [oblivious smile] Omg...er.... yeah totally so anyway....I um...I wanted to know if I could...um...like, have your number?

Boy: Again your question is ill structured and I fear, unintelligable due to the sporadic breaks in your voice. 'Er and Um' are merely expressed in the lack of solid vocabulary and are most commonly used in the rural parts of Africa where children battle to grasp the english language... of course they are excused.

Girl: LMAO! Er.... you're really um...a smart cookie...

Boy: I'm afraid I once again cannot reiterate. That would be another lie. My mother always warns me against lying.

Girl: Cool. My mother is a junkie. She lies about everything hahahaha. I don't even think my dad is my dad I mean OMG!!

Boy: It's beginning to make sense [smiles patrionizingly]

Girl: So er... your number?

Boy: Again. Ambiguity, sweetheart. Speaking distinctly and directly will get you far in life. My number....there is a wide scope of responses to this question. You could be referring the number that is my age, the number that my house is addressed at, the number on my school locker -

Girl: Loool dude you're like, so freakin' cute! I want your cellphone number!

Boy: Ah. I have dissected this...I now fully understand what you require. A number from which to contact me at.

Girl: Well yeah! [beams]

Boy: I feel accomplished.

Girl: So you gonna give it to me??? OMG I've been like in love with you forever! I was just too shy coz I was like 'he's got green eyes, why would he wanna talk to me??'

Boy: Females of your kind are certainly fascinating to analyze and converse with. I dare say more interesting than studying Newtons Law of Motion, which is hypocrital of me. But you are simply a fascinating speciment...

Girl: OMG I'm fascinating. I love you!!

Boy: Fascinating truly. Truly a proof that there are people existing within us...

that are downright stupid. Goodbye.


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