30 Seconds to Air
By Mike Stevens
Oh god, what was he doing here? The light on top of the camera was dark, but as soon as it lighted up; nightmare! What if he froze? What if he said something embarrassing? What if he had something on his face? The whole world would see it! It had seemed like a good idea at the time, broadcast journalism, but now that the time to air was here, the enormity of his just wanting to crawl in a hole somewhere was hitting him. He hated to be noticed, for any reason. He just wanted to blend into the furniture. Yet here he was, about to speak to millions of people (in reality, it was a fledgling local cable channel that was aimed at scavenger hunters, so he'd be lucky to get double-digit viewers). Look at this tie! Look at this shirt! He must look like a first-grader, who had been dressed by his mother. Suddenly, his mouth felt like a used cotton ball. Water, he needed water! He desperately wanted to scream, "Water, someone get me water!", but there was no time. Oh god, any second now! The light on top of the camera looked like the barrel of a gun, about to shoot him right in the face with embarrassment. Just as he was thinking this, the producer's voice echoed in hi ear,
"Stand by; ten, nine...one, you're on!"
"Good evening, and welcome to the initial broadcast of 'Scrounge", a new show dedicated to all things scavenger..."