Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!
"Dear Winifred, I'm writing to you because no one else can answer my question to my satisfaction. I am stuck, and I need someone's advice. See, I live alone and am unsure how to deal with this particular problem..."
"Dear Long-Winded Writasorus; WHAT is your problem? I can't tell you what I think you should do if this column runs out of space. I was waiting and waiting for you to eventually get around to sharing what your problem is , but apparently you think I've got all day to devote to your question, which I never got to because, you droned on and on about nothing. You must be a self-absorbed loser to talk so long about yourself, and never get to your question. You're welcome; Winifred."