Inspector Jimmy of Scotland Yard
By Mike Stevens
A Jimmy Tilford Tale
"Jimmy, turn off the T.V., it's time for dinner!" came the call from the kitchen, where his mother was making, HAMBURGERS! Jimmy was watching an old Sherlock Holmes movie on the a channel that played old movies. Man, that Sherlock Holmes sure had it going on.
A stuffed 10 year old Jimmy Tilford wobbled (ha, Wobbly Knob?) his way back into the living room. He bloated back on the couch; he was stuffed! He picked up the remote and flipped on the T.V. The Sherlock Holmes movie was still showing. Look at him, solving seemingly-impossible-to-solve crimes; he was always light years ahead on the smarts ladder. Jimmy thought it would be so cool to be like Sherlock Homes;
"Elementary, my dear Shelter," said Inspector Jimmy of Scotland Yard, to his much-denser assistant, Sharecrop Shelter.
Jimmy knew that Sharecrop was a very unusual name, but he thought it sounded cool!
He knew Sharecrop couldn't help being denser; next to the great Inspector Jimmy EVERYONE was seemed denser. He was investigating the murder of a kindly candy maker.
Who would kill a candy maker?
"So, can you explain why you were found standing over the body with a bloody knife in your hands?" Inspector Jimmy asked David Gailer, the grocer who'd sold the kindly candy maker his sugar and chocolate.
Oh, sugar and chocolate, yum!
"Ah, because I found him like that?"
"Sir, I can tell by the soles of your shoes that you're lying!"
"You can? You can't even see the soles of my shoes!"
Oh oh; Jimmy would have to do some mighty fancy thinking to get himself out of this mess!
"Sir, you told me earlier that you had walked all the way here, and yet there are no watery footprints anywhere around, and it's pouring down rain outside. Therefore, you must have been here, lying in wait, for at least long enough for your shoes to dry!"
Just how they were miraculously on the scene minutes after the murder, Jimmy didn't know, but he was 10 years old; and things didn't have to be logical!
David Gailer suddenly bolted towards the door, looking wildly around.
"Arrest that man!" shouted Inspector Jimmy, to the uniformed police officers who had suddenly appeared.
Later, back at Scotland Yard, poor Sharecrop Shelter was looking rather puzzled.
"Inspector Jimmy, how did you figure out Gailer was the murderer; I couldn't tell; he looked like he was telling the truth."
How to explain his brilliance to an ordinary man? "Simple, my dear Sharecrop; I eliminated everything that was impossible; therefore, everything that WAS possible, had to be the truth!"
"Oh," replied a still-puzzled Sharecrop Shelter.
Jimmy was puzzled also, but let it go.
They had solved this case, and were waiting for the next!
All this daydreaming about sugar and chocolate had revived Jimmy's hunger; in a way that seemed exclusive to 10 year old boys, and now that the Sherlock Holmes movie was over, it was about time for dessert.