Speed Jimmy; Racer
By Mike Stevens
A Jimmy Tilford Tale
“Go Speed!” yelled 10 year old Jimmy Tilford. It was early Saturday morning, and he was the first one up; therefore, he got to watch whatever he wanted on T.V. There was zero chance he would watch some home repair show, like his father would, or some lame gardening show, like his mother; no, nothing but cartoons for him, and not just any cartoon, THE best one ever made (at least that was his opinion), “Speed Racer”! How anybody could watch that show and not be mesmerized, was beyond him! Suddenly, his dad’s recliner chair, in which he was sitting, became his racecar:
Speed Jimmy downshifted and started into the turn. He was way running second to Snake Oiler, driving the ‘Dark Skull’ car, in “The Motorama 500”, but that situation wouldn’t be lasting for very much longer. He was just about to pass hi----suddenly, from a hidden tank underneath ‘The Dark Skull’ car, poured a torrent of motor oil, and Speed Jimmy lost control of his racecar, which spun 42 times, and flew of the track, which was built on land with high cliffs all around,
Being 10 years old, the absurdity of that was lost on him!
and went air born. His pet monkey, Sprite, who for some unknown reason was in the car also,
Once again, the absurdity of that was lost on him; it was his daydream. If he wanted to think that, so be it!
screamed a monkey scream, and for some reason, clamped his paws over Speed Jimmy’s eyes.
“Sprite, move your paws so I can locate the button that releases the parachute!”
Sprite immediately understood him, and lowered his paws. Speed Jimmy found the button called “Emergency Parachute”, pulled it, and immediately, the racecar stopped falling fast, and was brought up just short of the ground, where it gently touched down.
“Sprite, thank goodness you’re a very smart monkey who understands English, or we’d have been doomed!”
“Eee-eee!” answered Sprite.
Speed Jimmy and Sprite climbed the sheer wall of the cliff they’d flown over, and started walking up the track, The sound of a powerful engine sounded behind them, and Speed Jimmy grabbed Sprite, saying,
“Look out, Sprite; awwww!”
But the powerful engine turned out to belong to Racer X (In reality, Speed Jimmy’s long-lost brother), who pulled up alongside them.
“Speed, I gave a stern lecture about cheating to Mr. Oiler, and he feels bad. I don’t think you will have to worry about Mr. Oiler trying a stunt like that again!”
Jimmy pulled his dad’s recliner chair into the pits (Once again, even though the recliner was supposedly sitting at the bottom of a 200 foot cliff, he wanted his daydream to end with him driving into the pits; it didn’t have to make sense!) Jimmy unbuckled his non-existent safety harness, and climbed out of the recliner. Wait, were was Sprite? He turned, and said,
“Out you go Sprite!” before remembering it was only a daydream, and the WAS no Sprite; but it had all seemed so real! Just then, his bleary-eyed father staggered into the living room, took one look at what Jimmy was watching, and said,
“Oh, no, were not going to watch some insipid cartoon; give me the remote!” and he switched it to his home repair show. Oh boy, a boring guy talking about boring stuff; BORING!
He said under his breath,“Until we meet again, Snake Oiler!”