By Mike Stevens
An Elvis Kidd Tale
Elvis Kidd wished he could just stay in bed, but he had to face reality; he’d really made a fool out of himself. His new band, Vengeance Squared, was playing their first show, when the mask he was wearing as The Masked Guy had fallen down over his eyes, and he’d taken a few steps forward, and because he couldn’t see, plummeted off the stage, breaking his guitar, and because they were only air-guitaring and not actually playing, the sight of him pantomiming playing, with strings hanging down in a tangled mess, and yet the sound still being perfect, hadn’t gone over well with the audience. They’d been booed off the stage. But Elvis was nothing if not stubborn.Tonight, they were playing an outdoor concert, and this time they would kill!
Vengeance Squared was backstage, awaiting their turn to go on. Except the band that was on ahead of them was taking longer than their allotted one hour. They’d been well-received by the audience, and were acting like they were the greatest band in the history of music. As encore after encore went by, Elvis Kidd was getting extremely angry.
Sir Robert Timkins couldn’t believe it; his band, Sledgehammer Nightmare, was actually going over great! This was totally foreign to all of them. They were used to the boos and violent reaction from the audience, not cheering. Every time they finished a song, wild cheering erupted. What was going on? It was like mass hysteria; the whole audience apparently had drank the cool aid! They were only supposed to play for an hour, but there was no way he was going to let an opportunity like this go by; strike while the iron’s hot!
Elvis Kidd just couldn’t take it any more. Sledgehammer Nightmare were being egotistical dicks! As they had finished one song; they immediately reacted to cheering from the audience by launching into yet-another. Elvis angrily looked at his watch; one hour and forty-five minutes; this was bulls**t! The hell with this; didn’t Sledgehammer Nightmare give a s**t about anybody else?
Sir Robert was just about to sing the first verse of ‘Love Aint S**t’, when suddenly an angry masked dude came storming out on the stage; right on the stage!
The music ground to a halt after Sir Robert missed his cue to sing. The rest of the band quickly had looked at Sir Robert for the reason, and saw him screaming at a guy in some kind of super-hero outfit.
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Elvis heard the singer for Sledgehammer Nightmare say. “Can’t you see we’re playing here?”
“Yeah, pal, I can see; and what I see are a bunch of egotistical dicks hogging the stage, when my band’s supposed to be playing!”
Sir Robert got hacked.
Bobby Simonton cheered and clapped right along with the rest of the audience. This Sledgehammer Nightmare was incredible! He was listening attentively to another great song, when the music died away, and was replaced by screaming, between the singer and a dork wearing a lame super-hero outfit, screaming expletives at the singer. What? Then the two started swinging, and all hell broke loose. The rest of Sledgehammer Nightmare, and several super-heroes, where swinging wildly at one another.
Sir Robert Timkins was swinging wildly at Captain Loser, who was returning the swings. Out of the corner of his eye, Sir Robert saw that the rest of his band was rumbling with several other Captain Loser’s. About that time, he heard sirens in the distance.
Elvis Kidd and the rest of Vengeance Squared heard the clang, as the metal bars of the cell door was slammed behind them. In the cell next door was Sledgehammer Nightmare, and that dick of a lead singer!
Officer Drake Treadway was having a hard time believing what they’d found when they had arrived at the concert hall; it reminded him of the Super Friends, a group of cartoon hero's from a cartoon he used to watch as a kid; it was an all-out battle between the band who had been performing, and a bunch of guys right out of The Hall of Justice!