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Booksie Bill O'Reilly: The Booksie Factor is on, tonight!

Short story By: Russ Teed
Humor


A Mock on the Coveted Newscaster


Submitted:Mar 18, 2013    Reads: 11    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   


The Booksie O'Reilly factor is on, tonight!


Hi I'm Booksie Bill O'Reilly, in Massachusetts we take a look at a report on a harebrained loon who habitually agonizes and annoys his Booksie friends by writing fabricated preposterous stories. Pin head or patriot?

Caution, you are about to enter THEE no spin zone!

Here is an example of his rhetoric:

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Russ Teed: A Jehovah's Witness happened upon my door yesterday, I was PSYCHED! I was extremely bored and nowI had entertainment coming. I'd been prepared forthis happening for quite some time.

I slipped into character as I had been rehearsing and affix my sun glasses. I hear and 'knock knock' and open the door.

I was looking 2" over his head, as any blind person would, and invited him in. Taking full advantage of his kind soul he sympathetically made me a sandwich, got me coffee, fed my dog, and got the newspaper for me.

"Oh, the newspaper is for my dog" I said when he looked miffed. That was a close one!

Talking loudly over the Van Halen I had cranked up he ask me when I lost my eye sight.

I said, "Remember that activity our mothers said would make us blind if we did it too much? AHAHAA!!"

He didn't laugh at all? Then I said, "have you seen my cat?", "no sir", "neither have I!" WOO HOO!!

While laughing it up my dark shaded glasses fell off and he must have noticed how quickly I located, retrieved, and replaced them, the jig was up...

I gotta tell ya, them JW's are really good wrestlers! After 4 or 5 minutes of cuss exchanges and maneuvering I managed to pin him.

"Yes! Satan's little helper is victorious! Yeee Haaaw!" I vociferated.

As he scurried up the driveway I yelled, "Hey, Jesus loves me too, how's that for sweet irony........ You Mary!" OMG here he comes again!

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Dennis Miller checks in on this New England loser:


"Billy I've read some of this cowardly cat's tales and I gotta tell ya, this popinjay should not only be banished from his fantasy land of Booksie, but also from the human race okay! Talking dogs, misuse of auto spell correct, socks talking, flip flops mongering, he may or may not have been a cheerleader, texting and driving shopping carts, faked a drowning as a desperate grab at attention, and he's apparently the world's most sedentary turbid offensive dancer man has known. And for god's sakes Billy, this deranged disco duck likes ABBA! He's so inane he makes the little plastic tips on shoe laces seem like an interesting topic of conversation."





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