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LEGGS & EGGS

Short story By: Russ Teed
Humor


A bumbling misunderstanding of literary integrity.


Submitted:Aug 1, 2012    Reads: 54    Comments: 1    Likes: 5   


Legs & Eggs

I was driving along to work about 8:00 a.m. and I saw a sign that read "Legs & Eggs". I haven't had breakfast yet and I was famished so I decided to give this establishment a try.

I walked in this oddly dark restaurant and sat down. Well I was simply and completely astonished. I had thought the sign meant chicken legs and chicken eggs. The tawdry behaviorisms of the entertainment here left me aghast. I figured I best get out of there immediately!

So, during breakfast I was thinking "How the heck does she do that, upside down"? Breakfast came with free cocktails and now I am very late for work. I thought I'd better leave immediately or I won't get anything done today.

For lunch I had the Classic Rueben, pan seared of course. It was quite the delicacy I must say, and it also came with complimentary cocktails. I remember thinking "Wow look at this, this is just degrading." Then "Holy cow look at the time, I am so outta here!"

So the waiter explained the choices for dinner were Chicken Fricassee or "farm raised wild Salmon." Just how the heck does that work, what an oxy-moron? I went with the chicken as it assimilates well with my will power. I am defiantly leaving right after I eat for sure this time!

Much Later; "Wait a cotta picko millit bar keep, who callths lasp coll at mimnite? Come dow hea mithta, firrer upa pweese"! The next thing I know I woke up in a dumpster and can't remember a thing from yesterday, or last night.

Well, I was ravenous as I roamed around trying to recall something, anything from evening last. I had no idea where I was but I came upon a sign that read "Legs & Eggs". Next I thought "I love chicken and eggs, what the heck, how bad could it be?





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