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Morning thoughts of a woman on Facebook

Short story By: Russ Teed

Typical morning chat on Facebook, from a typical woman.
I'm already in trouble, aren't I?

Submitted:Feb 14, 2013    Reads: 66    Comments: 0    Likes: 3   

Man on Facebook -11:35p.m. "I like beer".

Woman on Facebook - 7:30a.m. "I woke up ten minutes late for work and my damn husband did nothing to help me! The S.O.B. ate breakfast and made HIMSELF coffee! Selfish good for nothin!

7:50a.m. "Okay, I dropped the kids at school and off to work by 8:00a.m. sharp."

8:02a.m. "So I'm working and this b|£€# I can't stand is irritating the hell out of me! Listen, you'll never read this because you're not on Facebook but you are the most despicable sub-human sluggard these eyes have ever seen you ignorant orangutan!!"

8:04a.m. "OMG, my husband texted me, he did a load of laundry to help me out, I'm the luckiest woman on earth! Mmmwwaaahh to my soul mate and love of my life!"

8:06a.m."I was raised relatively cage free."

8:07a.m. "I can't wait to get the hell outta here, c'mon 5:00!"

8:10a.m. "Tonight I'm making roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus, YUM!"

8:16a.m. "I caught my cat on my computer last night and he was licking the screen? I think he was watching kitty porn. LOL!"

8:22a.m. "I know it's Valentines but did my hubby have to send me chocolates? Does he want me to get FAT?"

8:35a.m. "DAMN! I just broke a nail, there goes my day, lol."

8:42a.m. "I bought a little table for next to my bed. I woke up this morning and it was gone? It must have been one of those 'one night stands' lol lol."

8:51a.m. "Reality, is just an escape from Facebook, lol."

8:59a.m. "FINALLY it's time for a break, WOO HOO."

10:00a.m. "Back from break, back to the grindstone."

10:17a.m. "If I was a Tootsie Roll and went into a Toys R Us, I'd be like a candy in a kid store, lol."

10:26a.m. "BTW, has anyone ever 'put their nose to a grindstone, more than once? LOL!"

10:39a.m. "I don't believe in Karma! Gee, I hope that statement doesn't come back to bite me, fingers crossed."

11:02a.m. "I wish I lived in a world without hypothetical scenarios, lol"

11:33a.m. "The phrase "Think again" is an overly presumptive connotation that I'd given thought in the first place."

11:59a.m. "FINALLY, LUCNH!"

DISCLAIMER: This was a caricatured imitation of other woman, that aren't my FB friends, or Booksie friends and don't know me, or know where I live!


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