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MY BITE IS BIGGER THAN MY BARK

Short story By: Russ Teed
Humor


Special delivery to a civil servant


Submitted:Sep 24, 2012    Reads: 30    Comments: 3    Likes: 2   


I was wicked bored and naughtily spirited today so I decided to embrace roguery.

I covertly hid in the bushes Rambo style with a sandwich and coffee in hand, oh yes, I'm in this for the long run.

Soon enough here he comes, innocently he swaggers up the walkway distracted by the contents of his hand.

My retrained jubilation near besting me but my inner resilience overcame the urge to snicker.

Here he is… easy… wait for it…NOW! I jump out with a savaged growl and bit my mailman in the leg!

Wildly shaking my head back and forth and primally growling with pant leg clenched firmly in my locked jaw.

He screams for dear mercy as letters are a flying cuz this dog's bite is much bigger than his bark! Well, after the burning subsided and my eye sight returned I wished I had remembered about the mace, yes the mail man mace.

Dude had NO sense of humor! Now I have to pick up my mail at the post office, and I spilled my coffee, and I may or may not have been neutered, and spayed!

"That rule was set in place for real dogs attacking mail men, not humans pretending to be dogs attacking mail men that get sprayed with mace and spill their coffee" I pleaded, but to no avail. It's a dog's life after all… OMG I think I have flea's! And I keep rhythmically scratching my ears with my foot?





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