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One On One With VP Dick Cheney

Short story By: Russ Teed
Humor


Tags: Humor, Fiction, Odd


Competitive Humor


Submitted:Feb 8, 2013    Reads: 15    Comments: 1    Likes: 2   


Last night I dreamt that I was stranded on a tropical desert island. Soon I realized that it was no longer deserted because I was there.

I found a floating wine bottle that had washed up on sure and put a note in it asking for help, and for the latest Bruins and Celtics scores.

I sealed it up tight and in the water it went - 'kerplunk'.

As I watched the tides whisk away my vessel of hopeful rescue out to sea I thought to myself;

"If I inadvertently sprayed myself in the face with bug killing spray, and then on my way to the eye doctor I prayed that the cheap brand of spray I bought was weak enough not to kill me. And, that the doctor can get it out of my eyes fast enough as to not go blind. Does this make me an optometrist optimist or a pesticide pessimist?"

I dozed off on the beach just after watching the sunset sink into the ocean. While still amidst the original dream, I had yet another odd dream;

I was playing one on one basketball with Vice President Dick Cheney. We were knotted up 9 - 9 in a race to ten.

Dick was dribbling (the basketball) and wore a grimace of restrained and deranged jubilation. He made a quick move leftward, darted right, cross-over dribbled and leapt up for a dunk.

I also jumped toward the rafters to attempt a blocked shot.

At the very same moment we were going to collide, the janitor turned on the microwave to heat up his treasured Hot Pocket.

This caused the former VP's pacemaker to malfunction and he was shaking like a naked baby in a blizzard!

We collided, in mid-air mind you, and he front rimmed it. Up went his feet and downward we tumble forming a pile of us.

We both look upward as the ball was circling around the cylinder, it then fell off to the left.

Dick then jumped up, grabbed his shot gun and shot me in the face!

At that moment, I knew Vice President Dick Cheney, was my dear friend.

Anyway, days had passed and the very same bottle I had sent out had returned to me.

"I'm saved I'm saved! HOORAH" was my glorious reaction.

I eagerly pulled out a piece of paper from the bottle and it read: Message not sent, please try again later…

Damn interwet!





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