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Real Fake Men of Genius: RNC / DNC

Short story By: Russ Teed
Humor


Today we salute you Mr. Former RNC Ballon Popper/Cleaner Upper Guy Segued to DNC Celebratory Confetti Picker Upper Guy


Submitted:Sep 7, 2012    Reads: 11    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   


In the waiting room at my Doc's I had a free moment and jotted down these jarring thoughts -

Bug Light Presents, Real Fake Men of Genius:

Today we salute you, Mr. Former RNC Balloon Popper/Cleaner Upper Guy Segued To DNC Celebratory Confetti Picker Upper Guy.

Your plight begins with the tools of your trade, a sack at the ready and the hand operated mechanical picker upper gadget in your grasp.

As you pluck up the knee deep refuse you remorse over wrong paths chosen and the all too manyHallucinogenic controlled substances consumed as a youth that lead you to this two day a year profession.

As you curse at yourself and your woeful tendencies a whiskey latent flask is discovered amongst the debris with the initials "J.B." engraved on it. Using this cylinder of sensation to wash down a fist full of mirage makers, your sack becomes full of trash and so do you.

Singing and prancing unclothed on stage while weepingly chiding unruly epithets at your father who "wasn't there for you" into the microphone as the teleprompter shows reruns of "Little House on the Prairie".

Background singer - "Oh, what an uninteresting pathetically sad waste of a liiiiiife"!
(Hey, I think he meant me? S.O.B. background singer guy! Let me out of these parentheses and I'll kick his Bug Light)!

Your rogue coworkers film your torrid stage display surely to be posted on YouTube within minutes of your finale. Hours later you wake comfortably in the disposal section of a moving garbage truck fruitlessly pleaing for your rescue and a mouth less full of flies.

They'll wonder for years to come about what ever had happened to you, Mr. Former RNC Balloon Popper/Cleaner Upper Guy Segued To DNC Celebratory Confetti Picker Upper Guy.

(I just read this to my Doc, she ran out of the room? I don't think... Hey, what's with the white coat dudes? UNHAND ME YOU BARBARIANS! Let me go! Where are we ....





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