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Gates of Heaven Contest

Short story By: Shadowsoul
Humor



A humorous short story about three guys at the gates of heaven...


Submitted:Mar 28, 2012    Reads: 66    Comments: 19    Likes: 9   


One day, at the gates of heaven, there was a large crowd. The gatekeeper angel flew up, high in the sky, and announced,"The gates of heaven will be closing for the night soon, but we have enough time to have a little contest," there were mumbles in the crowd,"The contest is: whoever had the most interesting death may go in tonight, everyone else must wait until tomorrow," he finished and flew back down. After the people with the boring deaths dispatched, there were three people left.

"You three!" the gatekeeper said entusiastically," do you think you have interesting deaths?"

"Yes," said the first man simply,"let me tell you what happened. So, one day I had just come home from a long day of work, and, as I pass my wife's room, I see my wife laying on the bed, naked, like she just had an affair with someone. I immediately became depressed. I walked out on my terrace to think about this, and I found a man hanging off of the ledge of the terrace by his hands. Figuring that this guy is the guy my wifeslept with, I started beating on his fists. He soon fell off, but he landed on a bush so he didn't get hurt from the fall, and he started running. I was really mad, I ran into the kitchen, grabbed my toaster, and threw it at him. He managed to dodge it. Then I threw my microwave, and I missed. Finally, my adreneline rushed through me, and I picked up my refridgerator, threw it at him, it crushed him, and he died. I suddenly felt really guilty, and my heart gave out."

The angel looked at him with surprise,"Hmm, that is pretty interesting," he turned to the second man,"how about you?"

The man said, in a boasting way,"I was skydiving,and my parachute wouldn't open, but I managed to hang off of this one guy's terrace. He came out a minute later and randomly started beating on my fists. I fall, but luckily, I landed on a bush, not braking anything. I made a run for it. This guy was mad and I didn't want to stick around. Then, he started throwing kitchen appliances at me. I dodged his toaster and his microwave, but he threw his fridge which ended up killing me."

"Wow," said the angel, amused, "Well, your death was?" He pointed to the last man, who was just smiling.

"Well, I had an affair with this guy's wife, and I heard him coming home, so I hid in his refridgerator."





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