Adventures of French Sailor
French Sailor was told by
his doctors to give up spinach and told to eat plenty of fruit.
He does. He eats bananas, tangerines, papayas, mangoes, limes and
lemons. Tropical fruit. South of the Border fruit. It is almost
December so the fruit is from Mexico, Chile, and Brazil. Again,
fool that French Sailor is, he eats too much. He has a strange
desire to wrap a napkin around his head, which he does at once.
In it he places a banana, then one baby lime and one baby lemon
for color. Then, for some odd reason, he puts on his mom's
lipstick, going over his natural lip line to widen and accentuate
his lips. He looks in the mirror.
exclaims French Sailor.
can no longer paint between the lines! When he realizes what he
has done he says,
"Sacre blue," a typical French expression in a situation such as
this you have to admit.
Then he piles
more fruit on his head and wraps a red towel around his butt and
ties it in a knot near his hip."Boom chicky-boom-chick," he
says to the mirror, though I don't know why I'm sure. He goes
outside and joins an incredibly long conga line extending from
his house to Hollywood, a distance of 3,353 miles, (or 5, 396
kilometers for our intrepid Frenchman) When Lucy, who was in the
same line complained about her sore feet, Ricky replies,
Honey, what are a few extra steps when you're dancing the
He dances there
nonstop to a beat provided by Xavier Cugat, playing Chiquita
Banana, setting a record and getting a passing mention in the
Guinness Book of World Records. In Hollywood he is touted as the
"Brazilian Bombshell" though in reality he is a French sailorman,
not sailorwoman. He becomes neurotic trying to decide which
persona to use, but patriotism wins out and he returns to Quebec.
France," he was reported to have said when he left, his Gaulic
nose quite prominent. It seems he gave up fame and fortune to
live a simpler life.
When he finally
got interviewed by Walter Cronkite, and Walter asked him why he
did it, the translation was this: "A sailor's life is the life
for me." Though it may be pointed out, one can never fully trust
a translation, they sometimes are, like life itself, full of
misunderstandings and confusion. He understands this. For such is
the life of French Sailor. .