War of the Recipe!
Have you ever seen those stories where the guy gets the girl in the end? And all ends happy? You know, she dumps the d-bag boyfriend she had to be with the less popular dude? Well…this is not that kind of story. This story is completely different, as I thought to myself as what would have been a far better scenario. Anything is better than the scenario I’m right now. As I sat on the cold floor and watched as the guard closed and locked the screeching, cold metal doors shut. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. I almost felt I could run out right before the guard closed the door. Luckily I had Elle with me and at least one of my best friends Joey. That moment is when I thought that maybe being the best is not really worth anything. Because some people could care less. This all started with just a simple, but kind of stupid idea that I had just yesterday.
The day started like a normal day, wake up, play some Xbox, a little guitar, only Elle did not stay over last night so my morning felt off because she stays over quite frequently. She never really means to, she comes we, chill, I kick her ass in Mortal Kombat, then she makes me watch a lame ass chick flick. Like Must Love Dogs, or Maid of Honor, or The Notebook. Then she falls asleep like thirty minutes in the movie half the time, and we often don’t get to far after that. Only on days when I guess she’s feeling “inspired” not sure what she means by that, but I wish she felt “inspired” a lot more often. But she is definitely one of the happiest parts of my life.
Well my day continues, when I get to work. Downtown at the Fieldspring mall at the bakery, called Yo Mamma’s Bakery. I did everything there, been there since high school. I like it, don’t plan on staying here for life, but it’s cool. We were a rival bakery to Satan’s Bakery directly across from us. Picture Hot Topic but it’s a bakery, that’s exactly what Satan’s Bakery was. They were always better than us only by a slight margin. Every year there is an event called BakeMania. A giant event that attracts thousands of people and all the bakeries from around the area are in attendance. This is about thirty or so different bakeries. Fieldspring is known for its cakes, cookies, cupcakes, muffins, hell after spending ten minutes here you catch on that the entire city smells like one giant bakery. BakeMania is pretty much an all you can eat festival that’s free. A one day only event where people would come and try the best cakes, cupcakes, whatever it is that that bakery had to offer. It’s also a competition for best bakery in the city. The winning bakery gets bragging rights, and an all-expenses paid two week trip to anywhere they in the world. Satan’s Bakery has won it like the past five times. Judging is done by the people on best cake, muffins, cupcakes, etc. it’s a giant taste contest. I have been a competitor my whole life. Losing to Satan’s Bakery five times consecutively is something I could not let slide easily. Especially when they are all the world’s biggest d-bags, they had no class or respect for anyone. But they play it off nicely with their cookies. There had to be something that they were using in their recipe. We always manage to place somewhere from 2nd to 5th place every year. This year I definitely wanted to win and I was ready to do anything I could to win.
I was closing as I usually do on Wednesdays. Joey closed with me on every other Wednesday. I got him the job here. We always have a good time when we are closing together.
“Yo O! Hahaha what’s up?” asked Joey. He calls me O sometimes. To him the O sound stands out so much in the name Owen. I don’t really get it.
“Not really getting the O guy, but whatever.” I replied.
“Dude I really don’t wanna be here right now. Shiiiiiiiiiit” Joey stated.
“Yea me either.”
“Well go home, spend the night with your out of your league girlfriend.”
Joey had made a small funny point. Just about everyone thinks Elle is out of my range of girls to be dating. She was far better looking than I am. No one could ever think she would be into me. I guess she’s attracted to my athletic ability. I’m not the best looking dude around, but I kick ass on the football field, and ice, and court, and everything else. Well I got the girl so who cares?
“I totally want to but I don’t have to, because speaking of the she devil.”
I said to Joey as I noticed Elle was about to walk the bakery.
“Hey babe, and you Joey.” Said Elle
“Yes she knows I exist” Joey said acting all excited.
“Owen I have to talk to you.”
“You breaking up with me?”
“What? I don’t understand why?”
I said as my heart began to pound.
“hahah no I’m just kidding.” Elle said as she laughed. “But I do gotta talk to you. I would have called you but you forgot how to answer your phone.”
“oh thank god, stop scaring me like that, and my phone died, but what is up?” I said
“Well I need to borrow ohhh I don’t know say like $200?” she asked
“$200? For what?”
“Well gee good question because my moronic idiot of a boyfriend I have though it was cool to drink and drive my car on Saturday and put a nice dent in my front bumper hitting a mail box. Hmm?”
“oh yeah.. yea um.. shiiiiiiitt” as I tilted my head back because I knew Elle was right. Joey stood there and laughed his ass off.
“hahahaha that was so funny. Elle, he gets in the car starts screaming im Jeff Gordon, then just floors it, and eventually hitting a mail box outside an elementary school.”
“Joey, I know I was there dumbass. Did ya forget?”
“Did you also forget that you hopped over the fence and peed on the slide in the playground?” Elle stated.
“What? Ok I’m out this conversation.” Said Joey.
“hahah idiot, anyway Owen, you owe me. Actually I don’t even need to borrow it. Your just gonna give it to me. Well I dropped by to let ya know that.” Elle said to me.
“ugghh this suckssss, but ok fine, I will give it to you Friday ok?”
“ok!” Elle said in a happy, jumpy, girl tone, as she gave me a kiss. “Well I’m running late for work, I am closing too. Filling in for this bitch I can’t stand I will wait for you when I get out ok.”
“ok that’s cool.” I said to Elle as she leaves the bakery. Elle worked at the Applebee’s upstairs. Even though we close the same time, it takes me an extra half hour to close up shop.
“Dude, how do you have such a good looking girl and you’re just a hideous, ugly man beast?” asked Joey.
“I don’t know guy, she just has a thing for hideous ugly man beasts. Where’s your girlfriend?”
“At your house making us both supper.” Joey responds.
“hahah go to hell dude.” I said to Joey as I got the mom joke. We both are good for cracking jokes on each other.
The evening is going well, except I could hear the death metal music coming from Satan’s Bakery. Oh my god I can’t stand them. Especially Scott, the dude that works there, he’s your typical emo d-bag. Piercings, chains, black nail polish, and for some reason he thinks it’s cool to dye his hair Mtn Dew green with black highlights. I and he have had our battles. He hates me because Elle left him for me back in 9th grade. And he still hasn’t gotten over it. Poor guy.
“Owen you and Elle have..you know right?” Joey asked.
“Well that is for me to know and you to never find out.” I said.
“oh ok that’s cool, I already know anyway, I’m guessing it happens only on days when she is feeling “inspired” whatever that means” said Joey
Being caught off guard and confused to how in the world Joey could know this information about Elle and I’s relationship.
“What? How do you know that?” I asked Joey
“Well it is kinda obvious when you can write a novel on the conversations you two have on Facebook. I log on and BAM there it is your entire conversation.”
“And you actually read it?”
“Well yea. Sometimes I get bored and you guys have some good convos. Like the one about her shampoo, or my favorite the one that you had about her butt because it was bit by a spider. Hahah that one is cool.”
“Shut the hell up guy. What a creeper. My god, I’m gonna nominate you to the creeper hall of fame.”
Then I was interrupted by the bell when the door opens. It was Scott walking in with a grin on his face.
“Hey whats happening fags?” said Scott.
“Wait a minute, guy you come in our shop and call us fags?” I asked Scott
“Damn right I did, I just came to remind you about BakeMania in three days. And I came to wish you guys good luck, and to give you a slight preview of what to expect.” Scott said as he shows us a cupcake that he made.
“Behold the newest cupcake masterpiece made from yours truly courtesy of Satan’s Bakery. It is called Chocolate Hell. Go on guys try it.” Said Scott.
“Scott get out of here, I heard Twilight is casting new roles, you should audition you would be really good.”
Joey said to Scott.
“Aww come on guys don’t hate. Well I’ll just leave it right here on the counter in case you change your mind ok?” Scott said as he leaves the cupcake on the counter, and flips us off as he walks out.
“Do you think he will burst into flames in sunlight?” Joey asked.
“Probably, I still got his ex-girl. Hahah.” I responded to Joey.
Joey and I looked at the cupcake for a moment. We stared at it hard. We both took a bite of it.
“OHHH MY GOD!” We both said in amazement. We could not believe that this cupcake was that good.
“WHAT THE FUCK DUDE! THIS CUPCAKE IS UNBELIEVEABLE” Joey shouted.
“I know what the hell do they put in their product? It’s KILLING ME!! Dude, they are going to win again this year, for a 6th time with just this cupcake alone” I said angrily “DAMN IT”
“WOW your totally right man. We gotta do something.” Joey stated
“I got it Joey.” As an idea came across my mind.
“Got what? A plan?”
“Yes, we are going to steal their recipe.”
“um when did you get all badass?” said Joey
“Dude we gotta win with year. It is a must! I cannot take losing to Scott the vampire again.”
“Guy it’s just a taste contest.” Joey said
“Not just a taste contest, dude we win? Name a place you always wanted to go?” I asked Joey
“The Playboy Mansion, the parties and the chicks.”
“oh um ok how about anyplace in the world and you don’t have to pay a penny?”
“uhhh…… Japan? I don’t know I never really thought of this.” Said Joey
“Joey listen to me, if we win, we can go anywhere we want. You can go to Japan. Me personally I would choose Austrailia. Don’t ask. But dude, I wanna go see the world, and I do that for free. All I gotta do is win over the crowd for one day just one day. I have tried and failed five times. My soul can’t take a 6th loss, I need you man!” I told Joey in desperation.
“So let me get this straight, you want to come back here steal Satan’s recipe to win a trip to anywhere in the world?” said Joey
“Yes, are you going to tell me that that’s not worth it at all?”
“Well no, but is it worth it spending some time behind bars if we get caught? And besides, you are gonna steal from Satan? Steal from Satan? You do know just by thinking this you have already reserved you seat on the train to hell right?” Joey asked
“Well…yea, what better way to ride the train to hell with your best dude? Come on man, make a reservation on that train with me, before they run out”
“Run out? I am pretty sure there is plenty of room on that train. But shit what the hell, if we are successful..”
“See…just imagine dude.” I said to Joey as the bell that sounds when the door opens. Someone is walking in I look over and realized that it was Carson walking in, with a sling on his arm and a slight limp to his walk. Carson is another one of my good friends.
“Carson, what’s up dude, what’s with the sling, what the hell happened to you?” I asked him.
“Hey guys, oh the sling? Yea um it was Lyria.?” Carson replied
“Lyria did that to you? Hahahah wow dude she kicks your ass, and you can do anything. Hell she medically can’t stop kicking your ass anyway. So what happened? I asked Carson
“Well, we were mini golfing, and she had the club in her hand, and her Tourette’s kicked in. My foot, I was at her house and she was vacuuming her floor and I walked by and her Tourette’s kicked in again. Feel my head, I got a nice bump back there. Baseball bat, we were playing baseball and I was teaching her to swing good, and you know.” Carson said, as Joey and I started laughing.
“But at the end of the day, I still love her.” Said Carson.
“Wow, haha how does it feel to know your girlfriend beats you and you can’t even do anything about it? Hahah you can’t call the cops.” I said..
“Damn dude that sucks.” Said Joey
“Well it’s whatever, I deal with it. Just Noah can be the biggest pain in the ass.” Said Carson.
“Who the hell is Noah?” asked Joey.
“Pretty much Jesus in a seven year old’s body.” Said Carson
“yea Joey, Carson got stabbed by Lyria, his life was saved by a seven year old boy, who happen to know how to drive and cook food. His mom sadly died of cancer, his dad somehow killed himself, he was obsessed with UFC and MMA, now that boy lives with him, and he’s with Lyria. Yea can you say completely insane?” I told Joey.
“Well I came by to see if you guys are coming to my small birthday party tomorrow? Shit 20 years old now. Wow.”
“Sorry rock star, but we got plans. See we are going to steal the recipe to all the good shit at Satan’s Bakery. Should join us partner?” Said Joey
“What? You are gonna steal a recipe? That’s stupid, why? Asked Carson
“Because, I am tired of losing to Scott and Satan’s Bakery every year at BakeMania, wanna know what is going into their cakes, and cupcakes, and cookies that makes them so so so sooooo damn good!” I said to Carson.
“Oh my god like dude, Satan’s is bomb.” Carson said
“Sadly I know, and I want to win this year so bad. It’s for a trip to anywhere in the world all expenses paid guy.” I told Carson
“wow man that is quite the prize, but dude, I am not ready to risk going to jail on my birthday. Besides, I don’t know what it is yet but Lyria says she has a special gift for me hahah.” Said Carson.
“And I wonder what that may be? A knife to the eye this time?” I said to Carson.
“haha yea your funny, oh and dude speaking of Satan’s Bakery have you tried their Vanilla Demon Balls? Wow I literally died and went to hell.” Said Carson
“No nor do I play to. I am not gonna support the enemy.”
“oh you don’t huh? Then why is there a Satan’s Bakery paper plate and napkin just chillin on the counter? With what looks to be, oh what is that? Chocolate crumbs from a piece of cake or cupcake or whatever?” asked Carson.
“Oh that? Yea Scott was here earlier, he brought in a cupcake and…”
“and you guys ate it, was it Chocolate Hell?” Carson says interrupting me.
“………..um yes it was.”
“ahhhhh hahaha, I just had one, wow, there is no possible way it’s that good. Well guys I would love to stay here and chat and stuff, but I gotta go. Wanna help ya steal the recipe, but I got more important things to worry about. See ya fellas.” Said Carson as he leaves.
Soon later it was time for us to close down the shop. As I was leaving with Joey we did a small scoping of the entrance to the food court and to the entrance to Satan’s Bakery. Trying to figure out what will be the best way to get in the mall. The mall’s security was not that good. People have broken in at night and robbed a few places and got away with it on a few occasions.
As we left the mall Elle was waiting in her car for us out in the parking lot.
“hey man I’ll catch ya leter.” Said Joey, because he lived a short walk from the mall. “hey ask Elle if she’s feeling inspired? Ok?” Joey added.
I just looked at him and gave him the bird.
“What did he say?” Elle asked as I got in her car.
“oh just nothing, nothing special, just BS ya know?” I told Elle with a slight grin. She could tell I was liying. She knows me all too well. But I could tell she did not want to force the issue.
“I know you’re lying, but whatever.” Said Elle as she gave me a wicked stare. Now was a time that I felt I should let her in on my plans for BakeMania. She started the car and we began to drive home.
“Elle, listen, you BakeMania is Saturday right?” I asked
“Yea, you’re totally not gonna win, plain and simple.” Elle replied.
“Gee thanks for the confidence.”
“No problem babe.”
“Well we are not going to win, because let’s face it, Satan’s Bakery is just way to damn good. It really should be illegal.”
“Yea definitely, well you guys gave it your best shot. Oh my god have you tried their new Death Pit Chocolate Brownies? Oh my god Owen, it was incredibly good.” Elle said in excitement.
“No…no…I have not.” I said in a discouraging tone.
“It was like an orgy in my mouth, and in there was Kurt Cobain, The Rolling Stones, and Johnny Cash.”
“ok ok ok.. I get it, Satan’s Bakery is a damn good bakery. Now shut up and let me speak!” I said to Elle in a frustrating tone.
“Wow, relax, hun.”
“Anyway, we are going to lose for a 6th time, unless…” I stopped.
“Unless what?” Elle asked
“Unless I steal the recipe that they use for everything they bake.”
Elle just looked at me and laughed after a pause of silence.
“you wanna steal their recipe?” Elle said
“well….yes…yes I do… I wanna fucking win this year” I said to Elle
“Damn Owen, take it easy. Why do you wanna win so bad?” Elle asked
“because I am tired of losing to them and Scott that d-bag. Five times straight? I cannot take losing to him again. And if I’m successful, that means a free trip to wherever I want in the world for two weeks. Come on Elle you can’t tell that, that prize alone is not worth a shot?” I told Elle desperately.
I can tell just by the look on her face, that she knew I was right.
“ok so you wanna win that badly? Ok, but you are telling me this why? Elle asked
“Because, right now, it’s just me and Joey doing it, I asked Carson to help but he denied us. So I was wondering????” I stopped myself from finishing the sentence.
“wondering what? If I would help you two idiots?” Elle said.
“well….yea..” I replied to Elle
“What? Are you out of your mind? Do you know the trouble we could get in?”
“Yes I am aware, but really, getting away can’t be that hard. You know how many people have robbed that mall overnight. What one place you wanna visit the most Elle?” I asked her as I try to persuade her into joining me and Joey.
“Well, if I had to choose….Italy. Yup I would choose Italy.” She responded
“Well if I am successful which I will, we can go to Italy and have the time of your life. All I wanna do is see the world Elle, and it would be so great if you were there to see it with me.”
After I pleaded my case, Elle just sat and drove in silence. When we arrived to my house she turned and looked at me. I already knew just by the look in her eye, that she wanted to help.
“hmm..well, ok fine. I will help you morons. But on one condition.” Elle stated
“Yes. Ok what’s the condition?” I said to Elle in excitement.
“Well… the condition is, I get to choose the place where we go and what we do. Kapeesh?”
“Wait what? Well there’s….” I was interrupted with the wicked stare she gave me. “ok ok fine. Deal”
“Good. Well I would come up tonight, but my cousins’ baby shower is tomorrow. No can do kiddo.”
“Your cousin is having another baby?”
“Yea I know another one, it’s like her 5th kid. I don’t know I lost track. Well I gotta go, get out my car.” Elle said to me. As she kissed me and I got out her car. I as I walked to my door, she honked her horn. I turned around and she gave the finger. I responded with a finger to her myself. I can’t explain our relationship. That’s just the way it is. I love it though.
The next day neither Joey nor myself had to work. We figured it would be a good time for us to scope out the mall. We met up at the mall and observed the entrance and the cameras watching the entrance. As we walked in in the food court we observed the area around Satan’s Bakery. We decided to get a better look of the inside of Satan’s Bakery, since neither him nor myself had ever been in there. When we walked in, it felt like walking into a haunted house at a theme park. With demon like mechanics and fog, special effects screen, with cakes and cookies, on them. When we got passed all the effects, Joey was suddenly hit in the face with a cupcake, thrown by Scott.
“hahaha what are you two pansies doing here?” Said Scott, high fiving his friends.
“You ass Scott!” Joey shouted.
“Follow my lead Joey, I got a plan” I said. I walked up to the front to place an order.
“Scott, I would like to try the oh so wonderful great Vanilla Demon Balls. Three of them please.” I said to Scott placing my order. He just looked at me with a disgusted grin. At the same time, I was on my phone texting Joey to see if he could see anything in the kitchen. I turned back at Joey, he gave me a thumbs up signaling that he got my text and understood what to do. I saw as he walked around kitchen entrance area and peeked in the back. Scott soon came back with my order. I grabbed the bag from him and started to walk towards the door. I looked at Joey and he had a smile on his face. That’s when Scott shouted…
“Hey queers! You going to pay for that?”
I stopped and turned around,
“You know what Scott? No I am not going to pay for these.”
I took out one Vanilla Demon Ball, and whipped it back at Scott hitting him in the face. He looked at me and gave me an evil look, and screamed at me like he was some sort of vampire or something, the weirdo. I continued to walk out. I gave one to Joey, and I took the other. We ate them and walked out.
“Why were you smiling back there?” I asked Joey as we’re chewing the Vanilla Demon Ball.
“Dude oh my god. This thing is fucking bomb!!!!” Joey replied overwhelmed of the deliciousness of the Vanilla Demon Ball.
“Wow, you are so right guy.” I said to Joey. I was so amazed with the taste of the Vanilla Demon Ball, I grew more and more angry, with every chew. I wanted to win even more now. It was now life or death. I felt destined to carry out my plans. A war had developed in my head. Me versus that recipe and of course Scott and Satan’s Bakery.
“Joey answer my question, why were you smiling back there?” I asked Joey again getting back on topic
“Dude……I ……I understand now…….” Joey said while still chewing, talking with his mouth full.
“Swallow your food dumbass, and speak.” I said to Joey angrily.
“ok ok, listen, I get it. We can’t steal their recipe; it’s posted on a wall. All we can do is get in and copy it down. Easy as that. There is one at every station. We get in, find out what all the recipes have in common, write it down, and we’re golden.” Joey stated.
I thought to myself ok, that will work. But I wanted to do more.
“ok fine that will work, tonight we come back and do what we gotta do and get out.”
Later that night we met up with Elle, outside the mall food court.
“I can’t believe I am doing this. Let’s just get the recipe, and get out.” Elle said.
“We are copying the recipe not stealing it.” Joey said.
“ok whatever stealing copying, it’s still the same shit dumbass.” Elle yelled at Joey
“Hey, quit bitchin at each other and lets do this.” I said to Joey and Elle as I grew more intense. My heart was pounding, I could feel my blood flow, and adrenaline was on full blast.
We entered the food court through the security entrance. I had told Elle that she had to stay on guard while Joey and I went into Satan’s Bakery. We entered through the back halls of the mall, the security only areas. And entered through the back of the shop. We broke off the lock with a sledge hammer, I had brought with me.
“Elle, stay here and watch for security, text me if you notice anything.” I told Elle.
“ok fine.” She responded.
Joey and I went to the baking stations of the shop. We quickly read through the ingredients, and copied down everything we could from every station. Five minutes go by and my cell phone starts to vibrate. I looked at my text from Elle and it reads “GET OUT NOW!!! GUARD COMING!!”
“Owen I just got Elle’s text we gotta go man.” Joey yelled.
“Ok just a second I know.”
I started to get angrier, because I had not gotten enough of the recipe I had planned. My plan was falling apart.
“OWEN WE GOTTA GO!! IM OUT DUDE!!” Joey yelled once more.
“JUST A GODDAMN SEC!!.” I yelled back at Joey, but realized he had already left.
I had gotten one recipe, the recipe to the Chocolate Hell. Frustrated with the thought of failure running through my mind. I had make sure I felt some sort of success. I grabbed a permanent marker and scribbled over as many of the recipe’s I could, as fast as I could. It was the best I could do. My mind was moving faster than speed of light.
As I ran back to meet up with Elle and Joey, I was already too late. A guard and police officer were waiting. I dropped to my knees and punched the floor out of anger. I knew I had failed.
They took us downtown, and we were forced to spend the night in jail. And here I am, sitting on the cold floor, with my girlfriend and one of my best friends. With our one phone call, Elle called her home, but no one picked up. The same happened for Joey. I called Carson, because I knew he would be awake, he was celebrating his birthday. I explained to him what happened. He said that he was going to see what he could do.
Elle refused to sit by me, Joey sat across the cell. None of us had anything to say. We just wanted to get out of here. Then again the thought of maybe being the best is not really worth anything. People could care less. I felt terrible, I got my girlfriend and my best friend thrown in jail all because of my selfish greed.
“Looks like you failed dude.” Said Joey
“naww really man?” I responded in frustration.
“If I was ever to be thrown in jail, I figured it would be for disorderly conduct.” Said Elle with a slight smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. I chuckled at her. She than decided to sit next to me again, and she rested her head on my chest and I put my arm around her and kissed her on her head. We all just sat there and waited for something to happen. It seemed like forever.
About three hours into sitting there, we heard shouting and noises. We all looked at each other confused. All of a sudden Carson and Noah appeared with keys to the door.
“Carson?!?!” i said with excitement.
“Don’t ask questions just move guys, NOW!” Carson said.
“Why does Noah have a shovel?” I asked Carson
“Don’t ask questions bucko.” Noah yelled, raising his shovel.
As we walked towards the entrance there were officers out cold on the ground all over the place. Then I put the whole scene together, the officers were knocked out with Noah’s shovel.
The next day I got a call from my manager notifying me that I had been terminated from employment. Joey called me crying. Elle kept her job, mainly because she was the best looking waitress Applebee’s had and her manager was a creeper. He did not fire her. I carried on with my day as it was just a normal day and thought if this whole experience was worth it. I was still unsure, I knew in my heart that I would do it all over again. Just better planning.
Finally Saturday came, Elle, Joey and I went to BakeMania. All the pastries and cakes were good. Satan’s Bakery was a definite lead to win yet again. With our bakery Yo Mamma’s Bakery in 2nd yet again. So it seemed, Satan’s Bakery was eventually disqualified, due to having an unhealthy product. Someone found a rats leg in their cupcake, leaving us this year’s winner. I was incredibly pissed off.
“wow, would you look at that, life is not what we thought it was.” Said Elle
“Dude don’t say anything.” I cut Joey off.
“If you never came up with such a stupid idea, you would have won anyway, and we all be heading to Italy.” Said Elle..
“You both suck, you could have talked me out of it?” I said to my defense but it was hopless.
Elle then took the cupcake she had and threw it in my face. I thought to myself at that moment, “Wow how grateful I am to have what I have.”