I'm working late. Can you believe that crap? Yeah me either.

I have to print like 20 color copies of a 118-page report for a meeting Monday morning. Color copies take longer because they have to be individually printed off, rather than copied and it's SOOOOO SLOW, because the printer is kind of arrogant like Wal-Mart.

It's like, "no one can do what I can do so I can go as slow as I damn-well please, and you can shut your damn mouth or else I'll shut you down faster than you can say paper jam!"

And I'm like, "Excuuuuuuse me?? I know you're not talkin' that mess to me. You do realize you're talking to a human. With reasoning power. And a soul. And hair. Observe the chain of authority: Human, lions, computers, and THEN printers. Keep quiet and do your job, machine!"

And the printer's like, "Oh what's that? Is that--yeah, I think I'm getting low on toner. Um--does your soul happen to know how to change my toner? That's what I thought."

And I'm like, "Damn you."

Meanwhile the copier looks at me coldly.

"What? You can't do color."

"Whatever," he says.