Edward:- " I dont love you anymore Bella,"
Bella:- "Wtf? Why?"
(Edward legs it)
(Bella wastes her time crying)
Jacob:- "Bella? "
(Thinks to himself *oh yeahh the blood sucker is gone!*)
Bella:- "Hi Jacob. You're hot. I'll hang out with you for a while so you can jib me off when i find out your a werewolf."
Jacob:- "Sure. Ill look different. But i dont care cos you'll love me as a wolf too. COs im gunna save your ass from Laurent."
(Jacob turns wolf. Bella nearly is munched by Laurent. Then Bella jumps of a cliff. Hang on WTF? Why jump of a cliff?)
(Alice turns up and says that Edward is gunna kill himself. Oh dear.)
Bella:- "I gotta go and save him! Leave Jacob here with all the other dogs! Get your special yellow car here now!"
(Bella saves Edward and they live happily ever after. Until Eclipse)