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Nessie Meets Uilleam Yetts (Scottish for Bill Gates)

Short story By: Wilbur

Loch Ness Nessie meets Uilleam Yetts (bill gates scots name).
The two meet for a challenge but Nessie wants to be known as a lover and Uilleam, already nerved up, faints and sinks, so Nessie, disgusted but kind, fetches him up and lobs him into an English shore town where Uilleam stays, disgraced as an Adventurer, changes his name to the English Bill Gates, and becomes a bad balladeer who is haunted by something called programming, pictures of pluses and minuses and the words 'micro soft' - Nessie goes back to charming tourists

Submitted:Jul 14, 2012    Reads: 34    Comments: 7    Likes: 2   

Nessie Meets Uilleam Yetts - aka Bill (William) Gates

Nessie was prompt to the Challenge
Uilleam, Representative Adventurer, was too --
But Uilleam was thinking that maybe
The best Affliction was often a good Deflection

Nessie is a fan of Absolutes
Never a killer, always more of a lover,
He wants very much to prove this -
To establish it as Truth and an Absolute

Uilleam was still thinking --
Thinking that his first name means helmet
And his last name means gates
And he wished he had one of each

Nessie regarded Uilleam fondly
Thinking he looked a sorry Adventurer
But a nice enough nebbish ...
Uilleam was wondering, 'what the hell?'

Nessie rose up to tower over Uilleam
Wanting to demonstrate Love
But Uilleam fainted dead away
Sinking beneath the waters of the Loch

Nessie, realizing he must save Uilleam,
Sighed, sank, brought Uilleam to the surface
And hove him up, out, and to
Landing him squarely in the harbor of Hove*

To Uilleam's extreme embarrassment
He was run out of the Adventurer's Club
For failing to best Nessie --
Or at least to get a good picture

He decided never to return to Scotland
Instead staying to retire in Hove
Where he's become a rather bad balladeer
Using his English name, Bill Gates

Ever after, his dreams were weird and restless
Images of +'s and --'s floating in his head
And a thing called programming and words -
The meaningless words, micro soft, haunting him

Nessie, ever mythic and immortal,
Returned to his home in the depths of the Loch
Knowing no Adventurer was likely to try again
So he has continued to pose for tourists

When, at odd times. he remembers Uilleam
He recalls him as a piss-poor Adventurer
And is glad he tossed him out of Scotland
Especially as he's heard he's become an even worse Balladeer

*A municipal borough of southeast England on the English Channel west of Brighton - a residential seaside resort, population: 72300.


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