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Spider Switcheroo, Part One

Short story By: Wilbur
Humor



What happens when like nursery rhyme characters decide to switch roles so they can flex their acting chops? Let's see.


Submitted:Apr 2, 2012    Reads: 18    Comments: 5    Likes: 2   


Spider Switcheroo, Act 1

You know, I think it just makes sense. --- No, I think they're right. --- No, I don't believe it's a union thing at all. I think they hang out at the same bar and talk and came up with this -- well, this job relief. -- Yeah, that's right, job relief. -- No that's not their name for it, I just coined it. -- Well, I think that's what this truly is. A way to cover all their jobs but a chance for each of them to get to do something different for a season. -- No, still be a spider. I mean, that's what they are. Can't change that. --- No, it's more just to not have to do the same thing over and over and over. --- Well, hell, think about it. How long've they BEEN doing it? I mean, I know for the Itsy Bitsy spider it's been since back so far there's no clear date. -- Okay, Eensy Weensy, if you like, but it still goes way back. --- No, not to olden times. Maybe late 1800's. -- What? -- Hey, all I could find out is it "has withstood the test of time." --- Well, for Little Miss Muffet there is a date, and a spider has been doing that thing since the late 1600's. As for the Old Lady who swallows the spider. it's a traditional folk song, so you name the date. --- Hey, I don't care. I think these spiders are doing everything they're supposed to do. No child goes without hearing or learning or listening to or singing or dancing to their favorites. No nursery schools or parents or grandpas or baby sitters ... . -- Okay, that's what I'm saying. There's a spider always on duty and if it isn't the same one, who's to tell? --- Look, no poisonous varieties, just ordinary house spider types that all look alike. Anyway, they're actors. They are living spiders acting the parts of ageless spiders. And they're bloody tired of doing the same things over and over all year long, every year. --- No! You don't! You don't need to and neither do I. --- Yeah, I've got their statements. -- Yeah, right here in the files. -- Yuh. -- No they're not too long. -- Yes, if you say a day and time, I will teleconference in, I'll talk with their representative in front of you and ... . --- NO. -- NO. Look, we don't even know if this is a real problem or not and I am NOT calling them in to be questioning by you ... . No!. --- Jeeze, George. I am not disrespecting you. But I tell you right now, I am not gonna disrespect them either. --- No. --- No, I'm not. --- Yes. --- Okay, fine by me. Absolutely. -- Yep, yep, I sure will. 11 o'clock Friday morning? -- Your time? -- Okay, 9 AM, my time. --- I will have the Spider here. -- Good. -- Good. --- Nope, fine by me. And, yes, I can email you the transcriptions of my first interview with each of them. -- Yes, but I will not read them to you. --- Look, I've said. I will talk this representative spider in front of you. After that, we'll talk it through together with your guys. -- Fine. -- Yes. -- Yes, I'll have Sally put it in my schedule and she'll --. --- Okay, George. -- Okay. -- Yup, Friday at 11 A.M. And George? This is Arachne Fidelis, okay? -- What? -- Scientifically, it's Araneida? -- George, it's an actor thing not a science project. These arachnids are artists. There's gotta be --. --- Right. Respect. -- Right. -- Right! -- 'Kay, okay. Until Friday. -- Yup. Okay. G'bye George. ---------------------------


Sally! Call the Spiders for me, okay? Tell 'em to get their legs in here Friday for a meet with me at 10:00 AM and tell 'em they have to've picked a representative because at 11 AM I gotta teleconference call with George and his guys. --- Yeah. George Galideras. --- No, don't tell the Spiders. Let 'em come as they are. Just tell 'em one has to be spokes-spider. --- Cuz, I'm gonna grill whichever one it is in front of George and the money guys. That spider's gotta be ready! --- Yeah. Right. --- Right. So, let me know when you've got it done. -- Thanks.






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