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If men were cars...

Short story By: XUXIKI

Tags: Cars, Sex, Lovers, Humor

If your lover could be labeled as a car, what make and model would he/she be?

Submitted:Jul 26, 2007    Reads: 220    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


A male friend once told me that sex is like driving a car. If you want to know how your lover is going to be in bed, let him take you for a drive around the block. So shockingly true! This made me think a little further. If I had to put a make and model on my previous ex's, what would I label them with?

My 'nutcracker' was a dear old friend. We knew each other fairly well before I decided to trudge our friendship in the mud. I think he only agreed, because he loved being a 'nutcracker'. He loved putting miles on new tires. To me he was like a Land Rover Freelander/LR2. Huge I tell you! Or maybe that was all in my virginal mind. Like a truck he took a while to get going, but boy once he was on the open road… Heaven I kid you not, he was driving full speed ahead until we got to the next stop. Our first time out he was driving within city limits. A lot of stops, you get my drift? Afterwards it was smooth sailing all the way. Sometimes I miss that damn SUV.

The 'love of my life' was like a Ferrari F1-2000. I sometimes felt like Michael Schumacher at some stages of love making. Once, with my legs in the air pushed forward, him pounding away, I thought we approached the glorious speed of light! Ahh, there is much to be said for the 'speed of the bullet,' you certainly don't care about the 'size of the gun' then. When a car drives past me at 180km/h, I just give a contented sigh and feel myself go numb from the waist down.

My most current ex reminds me of the Bugatti Veyron 16.4, what a glorious luxury! When I climbed into him, or he jutted into me, it was just heaven, heaven and heaven. Whatever I wanted, I got. You could entice the Kama Sutra with that car. You have power, speed, agility, mover ability all between the confines of your legs. I wonder why we decided to brake up, because sex or ingenuity was never a problem. Now I remember, because of lack of emotional involvement, that's a line I thought up. Dumb broad, you must surely think now, just what I was thinking myself!


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