It’s my short story.
Short story?, more like short moment. What are you trying to do? Blind the reader with the blankness of the page? Or maybe you want to quench their thirst with droplets. They won’t be begging for more, they will be killing for it.
Yeh, yeh, I get the idea. Maybe I should add a few lines.
A few lines? Are you part of the movement that thinks the pen is mightier than the sword? Do you think you will spear their hearts if you write too much? Come on, too much is not even enough. Where is the hour glass figure, the full rounded body, this is anorexic! At least try to let it look a little bulimic! A little bit of thoughts spat here and there won’t hurt the story line.
I said I got your idea. No need to tear my piece apart.
Piece! What, are you hallucinating? This is a thread and it should be fabric. How will you make them see the detail of the design. I really think you can do better than this.
I think this is good just as it is, sometimes more is not better.
Ladidadida, tell that to the Ethiopian you are trying to feed with bread crumbs. Come on man, we have said more words than what is on this piece of paper! Staccato communication is way outdated! Feed their minds, man, FEED their minds.