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Susan's Favorite Blonde Jokes

Miscellaneous By: Mistress of Word Play

Just as the title implies. Have fun. I have over the years collected blonde jokes and love them. Hey blondes do have more fun.

Submitted:Dec 10, 2009    Reads: 415    Comments: 24    Likes: 16   

Computer and the Blonde

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I
would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my
computer screen."

The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not have

And the blonde said: "Helloooo.... I've got
Blonde Public Works
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then
moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he said to the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a
three-person team. But today the girl who actually plants the trees has called in sick..............
Blonde and the Casino
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars
($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude."
With that, she stripped off all her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...


She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and
her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them
asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know...I
thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men
St. Peter 3 Blondes and Easter

Three blondes died & found themselves standing before St. Peter. He
told them that before they could enter the kingdom, they had to tell him what the meaning of Easter was.

So, the 1st blonde said: "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast & we give thanks & eat turkey."

St. Peter said "Noooooo," & he banished her to hell.

The 2nd blonde said: "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday & exchange gifts."

St. Peter said "Noooooo," & he banished her to hell.

The 3rd blond said: "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, & the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on a cross & eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder .."

Impressed, St. Peter said: "Verrrrry good!"

Then the blonde continued "...now every year the Jews roll away the boulder & Jesus comes out. If He sees His shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

Are you sure it's mine?"

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
Who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde does, because she's 18.
What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.
There was a blonde who was really tired of the "blonde jokes" so she decided to prove everybody wrong. She studied for weeks, maybe even months, to learn the capitols of all the states. When she was done, she walked up to a friend and said "Go ahead. Ask me. Ask me the capitol of any state."
To which her friend said "OK, what's the capitol of Minnesota?"

The blonde smiled and replied, "M


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