(This is not meant to be offensive in any way, this is just things I have heard)
1. Man created launage for his need to complain
2. He's so lazy, that if work was in bed, he's rather sleep on the floor.
3.I want die in my sleep, like my grandfather, not in a car-crash like the passengers in his car.
4. I lay in bed at night, and stare at the night sky, and wonder 'Where the hell is the ceiling!?'
5. A child is crying outside his house, and man walking by ask
"Why are you cyring?" The man asks
"My parents are fighting" The kid says
"Who's you father?" Asks the man
"Thats what the fighting about"
6. How to policeman on bike arrest people? Do they yell
"Alright, your busted, get in the basket!"
7. One day my name was on a math problem in class and the whole class looked at me, and I yelled out 'That right bitches! I bought 290 watermelons!'