Ok, well here are some of my FAVORITE
Random jokes! No offence to anyone, and they are really just
for the fun of it! And they are in the form of a script. It's
like a short screenplay of Random jokes! Hope you like
A Blonde walks around the park looking at
all the children playing in the Sand Block. We see that her
face is full of worry and thought.
Blonde: (talking to herself) what am I to do? I don't
have any money! And I need that new plastic surgery! Oh I know!
I will kidnap a kid and ask for some ransom money, like they do
We see A Blonde's face light up and she
dodges for the sand block.
The camera pans across the sand block,
and A Blonde suddenly grabs a kid. The kid does not
Blonde: I have kidnapped you!
She hides behind a tree with the kid
tightly in her arms. The Camera focuses on the Kid's
Blonde: Kid, give me a piece of paper,
(gives her a piece of paper and a pen)
We see A Blonde writing a note.
"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow
morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan
tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground.
Signed, A Blonde."
A Blonde pins the note to the kid's shirt
and sends him to show to his parents.
The camera pans across the playground and
to the pecan tree. We see A Blonde uncovering a brown paper bag
with $10,000 in it with a note.
The note reads: "How could you do this to
a Fellow Blonde?"
"Funny you should come to
*Troubled Jewish Father
Camera focuses on Troubled Jewish Father.
His face is covered with beads of sweat as he approaches the
Father: Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi
We see the father biting his lip in
anxiety and shifting his weight from one foot to
Rabbi: Well, Shabbat
Shalom, tell me what is troubling you.
The Rabbi looks concerned, and takes the
Father's hand. The camera focuses on the Rabbi's face of
Father: It's my son, I brought him up in the faith,
gave him a very expensive barmitzvah, cost me a fortune to
educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a
Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?
The Rabbi nods in understanding, and
Funny you should come to me, Like you I, too, brought my boy up
in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune,
then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a
The Jewish Father nods his head in shame,
we see him look away, then look back to the Rabbi.
Father: What did you do?
turned to God for the answer…
We see the Jewish Father's face light up
Father: And what did He say?
The Rabbi shakes his head.
He said "strange you should come to me…"
We see a speeding car pass by, and a
Cop's sirens turn on. The cop's car follows a black
The camera follows the speeding car, as
it slowly comes to a curve. The car has come to a full stop
now, and we see a cop approaching the sedan.
What is it officer?
The priest asks loopy, his forehead
License and Registration please. Do you know how fast you were
The Priest shakes his head in confusion,
handing the cop the documents.
By Gods name, I can't.
were going 80 mph, in a 35 zone. (Raises
We see the Priest taken aback, as more
sweat forms on his crimson face.
The Cop looks to an almost empty bottle
of wine on the passenger's seat, the camera follows.
(suspiciously) have you been drinking?
(Shakes his head in disbelief) of course not my
The cop eyes the wine bottle.
are you saying that's a bottle of water?
We see the Priest look to the bottle,
shock spread across his face.
Why yes it was! The Lord has done it again!
Camera follows a swerving car, as it
dodges from left to right on an empty street. Finally, the car
has stopped swerving, and is totaled.
The camera focuses on a Blonde as she
dusts herself of from the horrible accident. She waits for an
officer to come.
Oh my! Lady are you alright? (Looks to the terribly smashed car
Yeah, I think so. Strange! Not a scratch on me!
We see the Blonde examine herself.
(bewildered) how did this happen, ma'am?
We see the blonde looking deep in thought
as she stares at the wreckage.
Well, I was driving, and then suddenly I see a tree out of no
where! So I swerve to the right, then I see another! So I
swerve to the left, and I'm dodging for another
(examining car closely, notices air freshener) Ma'am, there
isn't a tree on the road for 30 miles. That was your air
freshener swinging back and forth.
We see Annie walk into a bar and spot her
old friend Lenny. The camera focuses on her face as she smiles.
The camera shifts to Lenny, and he smiles back.
(flirtatiously) Hey Lenny! You look great! Have you lost
(smiles weakly, while adjusting his thick framed glasses) Hehe,
(sits on bar stool next to Lenny) how'd ya do it?
Well, you know how I went to stay with my
mom, and just sat on the couch and ate her food?
Annie: (Laughs a little) ya?
Well, she stopped cooking, because she died, and she willed all
of her furniture to the Salvation Army.
(sorrowful face) Oh I'm so sorry Lenny-
Oh, its ok, she's still with me every day in her spirit. It's
actually pretty embarrassing when I'm getting dressed, or in
the bathroom, or having-
(makes a weird face) I'm sure she turns her head.
You would think, but it never stopped her when she was
(freaked out) Right…
remember when I was 16, and I was having my first time…she
walked right in!
(still freaked out) Well, you should have locked your
Lenny: Oh, I
did, she came in from the window.