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Laugh your ass off

Short story By: tasja
Jokes


Tags: Laughter, Happy


If you have a off day, read my jokes and be happy!


Submitted:Feb 25, 2012    Reads: 528    Comments: 7    Likes: 2   


*The Job Interview Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you looking for?" The engineer replied,"In the neighborhood of $125000, a year, depending on the benefits package" The interviewer said,"Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vocation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 present of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years- say, a red Corvette ?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Well yeah, but you started it" *Question: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? Answer: Artificial intelligence *Question: what did the can say to the can opener? Answer: you make me flip my lid. *The 5 p's : preparation prevents piss poor performance *What is a country song played backwards? Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car starts, you get your Job back and life is great! *Girl to Doctor: Doctor, Help! My brother think's he's a chicken! Doctor: how long has this been going on? Girl: about a year. Doctor: wow! Why didn't you tell me sooner? Girl: because we needed the eggs *what do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop *A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told," you are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you" The frog says,"this is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?" "No" says the Psychic. "Next semester in her biology class. *Once upon a time when a blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day she goes to a nearby playground and when nobody is looking, she pulls a random kid behind a tree and says,"you're kidnapped, so be quiet and don't give me any trouble" the little boy, too startled to do anything stands there in shock. The blonde then pulls out a note that reads: I am a desperate blonde hard up for money. I have kidnapped your kid and if you ever want to see him again you arrange for 5000 dollars in non-sequencial, unmarked bills to be put next to the tree by 12:00 tonight,or else. She hands the note to the kid and tells him to give it to his mother. The next day the blonde finds the bag of money next to the tree. Inside the bag is a little note that reads: Here is the money. How could you do this to a fellow blonde?




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