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|Member Since:||Dec 8, 2012|
Hello, I'm Kimarie.
I'm 20 years old. I always attempt to wrtite books but I always get another, better idea for my next book and forget about the first one. I love writing, and I just jot down experiences that I've had or quotes that people have said to me that have touched me. This is mostly because I have a horrible memory and I'm always afraid I'll forget how I once felt about a certain situation. I have so many emotions that it's hard to keep track of. I feel like writing is my way of letting some of this emotion out, and kind of organizing it. Whether it be fictional, true, or a little bit of both...it really helps me.
I've worked on an Alzheimer's unit since I was 15, so I think that really attributes to why I'm the way I am. I absolutely love old people and especially ones suffering from dementia. I feel like I fit in with them. I also feel like they are the most genuine people in the world, because they say exactly whats on their mind...that's really all they can do. I feel like they give me more stories than anything in my own life would. They touch my heart everyday, and make me laugh, and show me what love is. They show me that even after a person has been stripped of everything, they can still love. Even when they can no longer talk, or walk, or think, their eyes can say "I love you." This is probably what most of my stories would be about.
My father died when I was 2 years old. My family never really spoke about it. I never thought it affected me up until recently. I find that I get overly attached to parental figures, which is horrible given the fact that I work in a nursing home and there are so many parental figures there. The problem with becoming overly attached to the elderly is that they are at the end of their life. So it's like losing a parent over and over again. But I would not have it any other way, because I truly beleive that It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I was snooping around in my mother's room one year around Christmas time (obviously looking for presents), and I found 2 huge notebooks. I was curious, so I plopped myself on her bed and started to read them. The beginning was about how I was born, and how much she loved me, and how happy the 3 of us were together. Then, it came to the part where my father died. I found out how he died- something that I never knew. He was murdered. I found out why my mother is the way she is, and I found out what it is to be truly sad. I had never really allowed myself to be truly sad until I read about my mother's own sadness. So, now when I hear/read/see that a woman has lost her husband or child, I physically ache. I find it to be the saddest thing in the world. This is also what a lot of my stories will probably be about, even though I have not experienced it first hand.
I have a mostly happy life. I have a lot of friends & family that love me. I have fun with everything I do. I write & sing songs, I ice skate, and I love to shop. I love to see the humor in every situation. I think that everyone has good in them. When we watch movies, we usually side with the main character, even when they do something wrong. That's because it's in their point of view. Therefore, I feel like if we always saw things through other people's point of view, we would understand each other's actions so much more. I'm extremely empathetic, sometimes it gets in the way of things. I fall in love with contestants on reality shows, & cry because someone on a commercial's dog is sick. I see an elderly woman in the store and just feel like I want to know her. I also get overjoyed when I see people being kind to one another. The smallest things give me overwhelming feelings of joy. I also have bad anxiety, however. I hate when people are mad at me, and I've never been in a fight in my life (besides with my mother). People have told me that their first impression of me was that I'm dumb. But they tell me this once they get to know me because they are extremely suprised by how not dumb I am. I have so many thoughts, I just pay too close attention to how I come across to people, and don't ever want to seem like a know-it-all. I also never say/do things unless I'm 100% positive that they are right, because I'm terrified of making mistakes. I second geuss myself all the time, but it usually turns out that I was right the first time.
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