Hello readers, writers, and anyone else unlucky enough to find this unfortunate excuse for an author's page. If you would like to rhetorically abuse me, my e-mail is email@example.com, though any who partake will inadvertently be giving me an address with which to reply using the assumption you like to play with fire. Alternatively you can use the same address for mailing me any questions, comments, or marriage proposals you may have.
Now for the FAQ Section of this one-page website:
Is K Valentine a your real name? -Of course, but it's not my secret Indian name.
Do you really have a secret Indian name? -Yes, and gullible isn't actually isn't in the dictionary...
I looked it up and gullible is in the dictionary...what does this mean? -We're screwed if Darwin was right.
You write about romance stuff, but your picture is an illustration of a man with armor...does this mean you're a guy? -You have been blessed with what I call "Keen Insight into the Obvious"
Do you know what you're talking about with romance since your a guy? -I've been in two relationships, and the first ended tragically for me after two years, the other, less tragically, also after two years. I'm very experienced emotionally for my age.
What is your age then? -22, i iz a kollej stoodent
Oh, what's your major? -History...this is one reason you'd be more interesting to me if you were dead
What's the other reason. -You don't want to know.
Why do you like romance? -I'm extremely logical in every area of my life except love. With matters of the heart, I'm a sap.
Are you gay? -Is it possible for a square to be circular?
Um, no... -Exactly
So are you just a really effiminate straight guy? -I have 3 dozen books about warfare but my favorite novels are either Fantasy or by Jane Austen, I play D&D, I like both Metal and Classical music, I own a (real) sword and can use it, and I study internal ballistics (the physics of how bullets travel *inside* something, usually a person) for fun. That mix is weird but not feminine, and if I'm to be labeled anything you may call me a Nerd.
So why are you here? -Because there's something rather than nothing, and there is something, and part of that something is me. It would seem somebody wanted me here.
I mean why do you used this site? -A)I'm a bit bored B)I'm chronically ill and this is a good distraction C)The erotica on here is so much better than watching...nvm.
OY!? -Yeah, you caught me.
I see you write your own erotica... -Yeah, don't tell anyone, but I pride myself on being able to sext really well. I wanted to find out if I was as good at making steam as I thought I was.
Do you want people to comment on your stories? -YES!
If someone writes to your e-mail, will you respond? -Of Course
Do you accept random requests to read stories from strangers? -If they ask nicely and it sounds interesting. If I'm asked to read and comment, and I read, then I will comment. If your grammar sucks, I'll try to explain that with tact, but you literally asked for it... Don't be a baby.
Speaking of such, do you mind constructive criticism? -Not at all, if it's actually constructive. I'm still in the process of fixing my formatting problems, and I'm very aware of them, so there is no reason to point them out. Other than that, I will give heed to critical comments so long as the poster does so with appropriate spelling, grammar, and respect towards the author.
Do you wear boxers or briefs? -That question is not allowed to be asked.
Is there anything else I should ask? -We'll find out if you missed anything important.
Bye! -*Good Riddance!*
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