A gorgeous sunrise graced my eyes as a warm breeze blew past my face and toyed with the fringe of my dress. A picture perfect moment, in theory. In actuality, it was like a goodbye. A goodbye to everyone and everything that had ever mattered to me. A goodbye, yet also a hello. A hello to Death who would not steal me as he planned. No, I would walk hand in hand with Death on my terms.
I pulled a water bottle out of my purse and stared at it, mentally preparing myself for my trip. A few sips and I could float away with the sun, into a world where the fear of death would no longer plague me as I visited doctor after doctor, hoping yet never receiving the words I longed to hear: ‘we can operate.’ No Doctor was willing to risk the surgery that would remove the ticking time bomb from my brain. The present my mother left me not in her will, but in her genes.
An aneurism….that was the cause of everything. A little ball of cells twisted around the nerves and blood vessels in my brain. I was shown the xrays of my brain and it blows my mind, pun intended, that something so small could cause so much pain and destruction in my life. It took my mother from me when I was five, it drove my father to drink heavily and replace my dead mother with me in every way imaginable, and it is the cause of my untimely death.
Never to grow old with the man I love, not that I ever met such a man. Never to have a family, not that I would risk having children and passing this death warrant on to them. Never to find my true purpose in life, not that I truly believe that I have one.
But I digress; this was a time for action, not a pity party. My last stand, so to speak. Yet as I raised that bottle to my lips and began to drink, there was no climax of events. No secret lover to save me, nothing but the surprisingly refreshing taste of my deadly cocktail. I finished off the bottle surprisingly fast then leaned back to catch the last few rays of sunlight. Wondering how long I had left. Wondering who would find me. Wondering what they would say. Wondering what adventure Death would take me on. Wondering....Wondering.....wonderin....wonder...........................won. My last thought before my eyes dropped close was: I've finally won.