Everyone disappears - all the time - now especially. The People don’t seem to mind it. They say we’re better off. Somehow, I know they’re lying. They always lie. Their eyes deceive them. It is easy to see if you look closely enough. Though who does that? Who gazes into the eyes, let alone pays attention to them? We are all ghost like creatures - dead to thought and to action.
They accuse us of ‘failing to see the opportunity.’ I don’t agree with their use of failure. Perhaps all it is, is a difference of interest. But they do not listen. Their agendas are clearly visible. Yet, there is still disbelief. Always disbelief.
I struggle to write - to form coherent sentences. Whether the distraction being the screams from outside or the screams from within my mind, I do not know. My twisted reality overwhelms me. My belief in goodness is dying. Perhaps evil can conquer the good.
Another friend of mine was taken. I’d known him since the Early decade. When everyone was content and happy. When life was really worth living.
They tell us it is for the good of the prospects. But no one believes The People. The People always frighten us. They know things that we do not - things my mind cannot comprehend.
This is my alternate reality. If The People catch me I will surely surrender, as I am a coward and to fight is nothing but a waste of human strength. But if they do not, who, rather, what, shall stop me?
The things I have seen haunt me in my sleep. My dreams no longer dwell in peace. My life is not my own. The sky has darkened and I cry because I know the end - or possibly the beginning - is approaching.
But enough of that.
I have not slept in days and I fear my sleeplessness will betray me. I awoke from a frightening dream – sweat was dripping from my brow. What is happening to my nights? My dreams? My happiness?
I am waiting to be sent to the Eye. We are all sent eventually. Oddly enough once the Eye has seen, you are beckoned to the Unknown. What waits beyond, no one will say. Fear grips your throat and never lets go. This I know to be true.
I mustn’t show my fear of the Eye. I mustn’t scream when the hour approaches. I mustn’t… No, I mustn’t. They will expect this, and I shall willingly disappoint them.
Tell me – How is this living? When we obey without questioning? When we live and die for the Eye? How is this life? I have yet to find answers for the most simplistic questions. The People and the prospects are too frightened to notice the deceit. Instead, they cling to whatever nonsense gives them the power they crave. They are lifeless, yet they pretend to live.
The nightmares from the past few days have stolen any sanity I may have had. Nightmares… They are so intolerable. I am afraid to lay down my head at night. The screams... They overwhelm me.
The Commission of The Eye watches our every move. They think the Hidden Defenders do not notice, but they do. The Hidden Defenders are completely alive. They pretend to hate; pretend to obey the Eye. The Hidden Defenders are mixed in with The People. We do not know who they are, nor does it matter. The only thing we hope and pray, is that they succeed.
As I sit here, I think. Trying to express my thoughts and fears, but no words are springing forth from my cerebral. It all seems so pointless. My life is empty once again. Sometimes I welcome the Eye. Even… the Unknown calls me. I must sleep. To take my mind off the thoughts that taunt my soul. Goodnight. Shall I see you tomorrow, or will I finally lose my mind? I do not know. I fear my own hands. I must sleep.



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