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All I want is to be Pretty

By: Ellebelles123

Chapter 1, Rachel is a 14 year old who has to cope with home problems, insecurities, and bullying. How will she deal with all the stres at once? Will she turn back to self harm and purging or will she seek help at her worst point?

I walked into my sixth hour class and took my regular seat at the back of the room. I pulled my sleeves of my jacket into my hands, ignoring the looks of distain from students around me. I could hear the popular girls in front of the room gossiping about someone, most likely mem I just looked down at the old wooden desk.

"Hey, fatty!" Someone said in front of me, I looked around, "Yeah, I'm talking to you!" The voice came from Abigail Pasely, the head cheerleader, she was glaring straight at me like I was some disgusting animal.

"What?" I mumbled, looking away.

"Why don't you just go back to whatever planet you came from, cow," she retorted.

"Yeah ugly, go back to Planet Fatso," Candace Anderson said.

I shook my head and tried to wipe away a tear without drawing attention to it.

"Oh, look, she's crying, you're so puny Rachel, just go crawl in a hole and die!" Abigail snickered, taking her seat as the bell rang and Mr. Vaut came in.

I raised my hand, "Mr. Vaut, can I go to the restroom?"

"Yes, quickly Mr Remington," he replied as I walked to his desk to get a pass.

Once in the bathroom, I ran quickly to the last stall and pulled my hair back. It had been two weeks since I had purged and I was about to break that record. I shoved my finger down my throat and instantly gagged, I pressed it back farther and leaned into the toilet bowl, getting rid of my lunch. I grabbed a peice of toilet paper and wiped my mouth. I flushed the toilet and walked to the mirror. My eyes were blood shot and my face was flushed. I grabbed out my eye drops from my jacket pocket and dripped them in my eyes, getting rid of the irritation. I grabbed a paper towel and wet it, the dabbed it on my face and neck. I checked back in the mirror, I looked better, no one would know.  I couldn't help wishing I was pretty; I had stringy brown hair and poop brown eyes, 'no one would ever think I was beautiful, never, no one ever cares about me' I thought to myself.

I got through the day with a lot of difficulty and ran home, trying not to run into the popular crowd again. I kept replaying the memory of sixth period in my head as I made my way back to my house. When I walked in the door, I ran to my room, intentionally avoiding my mom.

"Go clean your room, Rachel, you're grandparents are coming over tonight!" She yelled in her high pitched voice as I speed past her.

"Maybe I will just stay in there all night then," I mumbled as I opened my door. I flipped on the light and flopped on my bed, then grabbed out my homework and tried to work on it.

I couldn't believe that my grandparents were coming over, they always conpare me to my brother and sister and all of my cousins, how I'm not in all advanced classes and that I am not an MVP of my sports team, I hate when they come over.

After I finished my homework, I cleaned my room then was called downstairs. I could hear people talking and slowly walked down the steps.

My grandma was at the base of the steps, I started to retreat when we locked eyes.

"Oh Rachel, you have put on a little weight I see," she mumbled scrutinizing me, 'this is gonna be a bad night' was all I could think.

 

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