Before I let you into the very personal pieces of my life I want to tell you how hard it is for me to write this book. I've gone through so much in life that I have a feeling that this is going to be a long book, but I'll try to shorten it down a bit. When you read my story please don't make judgments. Please don't call me names, although I know you will. It doesn't matter though; I've heard them all before. Just understand that everything that has happened to me, everything that I have done, has happened for a reason. It made me who I am today, and without all of those things this would probably turn out to be a really boring book.
But anyways, hi, my name is Ashley Johnson. I am 27 years old. I guess that I should give you some type of a back story before I begin, but I don't know if I want to. You see, I am writing this story from Pine Brooks Institution. Its part of an assignment that I have to do to get out of this damned place. I've been here for two months, but, you see, I don't even need to be here. I'm perfectly fine, but no one else seems to believe that. But I know that I'm okay, no matter what all of those other bastards say. They just want to make us believe that we're crazy, so that they can tie us down with the white ropes and shit, so that that they can make up pop little pink pills…wait, maybe I'm getting a little to ahead of myself. I can explain all of that a little later. Maybe I will tell you a little back story before I begin.
See, I was born to Rebecca and Nicholas Johnson. They had been happily married for 10 years before I came around. They had already had a boy, my older brother, Robert, when I was born. But anyways, I came into the world, making an already perfect family seem even more complete. If they had known how I would grow up before they had me they would've probably aborted. But yeah…
I was one of those sweet little kids; Always saying please and thank you; eating my green vegetables…you know…cute little kid sort of stuff. I remember going to church every Sunday and having children's bible study every Thursday. Faith was a huge part of my life. I valued God above no other. I turned to my abridged children bible when I was feeling down or when I just didn't know what to do. This is why no one can see why I strayed. What exactly went so wrong?
Anyways, besides religion, the one that my family really connected with was baseball. For the majority of my life we lived in Rochester, New York. Having grown up right outside of Boston, my mom was a huge Red Sox fan. But my dad had lived in New York his entire life. So his passion went to the Yankees. Up until I turned five I didn't really chose any team. I just said that I liked both teams. And then I got a LONG talk about how I could NOT like both teams. How it was impossible. How I needed to choose. When I was five happened to be 1986. I remember being allowed to sit up and watch game six of the World Series between the Mets and the Red Sox. I saw how my mom got her hopes up. I saw he cry when you know…the Buckner incident happened. My mom was so passionate about this.
I went to my mom, hugged her and told her, "maybe they'll win the next game, and then you won't have to cry anymore". Well they lost the next game. So my next words were, "next year mommy, they'll win next year, I know they will." From that moment I considered myself and Red Sox fan. Screw my dad and my brother with the Yankees. The passion for baseball in my house is what kept us together for a long time. And as you'll learn throughout this story it played a major part in my life….in oh so many ways.
Then when I was eight my brother joined the army. Robby leaving was possibly the first life changing experience of my life. I loved my brother more anyone else. He was one of my major strongholds. But him joining the army…I mean…yeah it was great that he wanted to help our country, but our country wasn't going through anything then. He was eighteen. He didn't have to go. But either way, he went. And you know, just seeing him occasionally never seemed quite right, I never got used to it.
For what seemed like forever, I had this best friend who lived just across the street from me. His name was Jason and we did everything together. It didn't matter that we were opposite sexes. We were alike in so many ways. Jason has probably played the biggest role in the story of my life. Even now, as I sit here, locked way is this nuthouse; he still visits me at least three times a week. God…I need to get out of here.
I think that that is all of the back information that I need to give you for now. If I think of anything else, I'll fill you in throughout the story. I don't want to write this. But I'll pretty much do anything to get out of here. Like I said, I don't belong here, and hopefully I can prove myself to you with this story.