We're going to die John.
This causes a feeling of panic over me. There has to be a way, I think. I can't die like this. I have so much to live for. My wife, my family, my kids. God, let me find a way. But the hope of living has gone away like the cool has, where I sit now.
A burst of anger sweeps over me. Why, God, why? What have I done to deserve this? Think of my family God. What will they do? How can you let this happen? I think of my son, and how he will grow up without a father. I think of my daughter, not learning how to ride a bike from me. My wife becoming a widow. I think of later on in life. I won't walk my baby girl down the aisle. I am consumed in a wave of tears. I lay in a ball, huddling my knees up to my face. The smoke grows in its depth around me. I don't know how long it had been since we had gotten into the room but it felt like an eternity. I could feel the beams of the building under me, swaying unsteadily back and forth, even the slightest bit. I knew it would only be a few minutes until the whole structure will collapse. But now I can hear the fire, smell it, and even feel it. It is closing in on me, like death, trapping his prey. I know there was no way out.
A sudden calm overcomes me. I'm going to die. Despite what I felt before, I am now soothed by the thought. Before, I was thankful I was going to live when the first plane missed. And then became mad that I was still alive when the second plane hit and didn't take me instantly. Now, I feel it in my heart that this is the time. I know what I must do.