fantasy vs reality
How can i tell the difference,
Between two worlds when i have never put them beside eachother.
How can i tell the difference between my hell and my heaven,
When they both slip so suddenly from under my feet everytime something happens.
What is being stable?
What is the difference between fantasy and reality?
I thought i knew the difference,
until you came along,
and than they crashed.
They collided head on.
I never thought that was possible,
to hate you and love you at the same time.
But, i do.
I hate everything that you do.
Everything that you make me feel,
everything that you make me do against my own better judgement.
I hate it.
And i'm addicted to it.
I love the you, that loves me.
The you that never leaves my thoughts,
even for one waking moment.
You are my fantasy,
and also my heartbreaking reality.
I don't know what to do anymore without you,
I don't think that i could live without you,
and yet you are killing me slowly.
Inside i am slowly dying,
slowly slipping away from reality,
from the me that i always knew.
I don't even know who this person is anymore.
It is like your own personal creation.
Right now i am everything that you want me to be.
I do everything that you ask.
Just by the look in your eye.
I hate how i have become so vunearable to you.
I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am like you little slave,
never knowing exactly when enough is enough.
I feel like your slave,
i feel like i no longer belong to myself,
that i am just your little toy,
and yet i am still here.
Still waiting for you to love me.
Still waiting to feel that one secure moment,
to lock on to it.
Right now i know nothing of that.
Nothing of sanity,
or peace within my own mind.
It is chaos.
It always will be.
And yet this is my fantasy life,
and sadly my crumpling reality.