She asked me last night—
"What do other women usually like about you?"
What a pain in the ass
question that is to try and concoct
a witty, yet at the same time,
evasive answer to.
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That's the problem with her.
She's always asking me questions,
and making me feel like I'm constantly
auditioning for a part in a play,
or a spot on the team.
I told her that I wasn't competitive
because I approach any competition—
a game of Monopoly, the lottery, my relationships—
from the point of view that
I'll probably lose anyway,
(hey somebody's always gotta lose, right?)
so what's the point in competing?
But she keeps on trying,
with her questions
even though I reject and rebuff them
at every opportunity.
What do other women usually like about me?
she wanted to know.
I wanted to say nothing,
and be done with the questions,
but saying nothing leads to more questions,
and more questions, and more questions
with her.
I could have said that other women
like my ability to drink
massive amounts of beer
and still get up for work in the morning,
but that would have been lying
(I usually oversleep and come in late.)
and probably led to more questions
about both women and beer—
questions I wasn't prepared to answer.
So, instead I said,
"Well, usually most girls want to read what I write."
which is a true statement,
because eventually they do want to read it.
Sometimes they laugh,
sometimes they call it disgusting,
sometimes they call me disgusting,
and sometimes they just don't get it.
She laughed,
"They do?" she asked me.
"Yeah," I said. "Some women are into writers."
"Do you write a lot?" she asked.
Always the questions.
"I write a lot," I said,
"and get rejected a lot."
She laughed and then asked again.
"You get rejected and you keep trying?"
Always the questions.
"Yes, I keep on trying," I said.
She thought it very funny
to get rejected and to keep on trying.
Then she asked,
"What don't other women usually like about you?"
I tried to ignore the question—
always the questions—
but she kept on askin
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