Setting: kitchen table, evening: dinner time
Kelly: Ma, give us the salt, will ya?
Mother (Sue): I'm trying to feed the young wan can't ya see that? Move your arse and get it yourself.
Kelly: I was only askin ya Ma.
Mother: And I was only tellin ya. Now eat your feckin dinner before it gets cold.
Nathan: Ah here, leave it out!
Kelly: That's ancient ya muppet.
Nathan: A did ya hear I battered your wan in school today, starting on me so she was.
Darren: Jaysus, Nato, ya can't hit a girl.
Nathan: can so, she started it so I gave her a going after, so I did.
Kelly: Yah eejit, Nato, eejit.
Mother: Now don't you be going calling your little brother names. He's only a babby.
Darren: He's not a kid anymore, Ma, don't be babying him.
Mother: Now don't you be so condeserting to me mister.
Darren: It's condescending, Ma.
Mother: You know what I'm like with me English, Darren. Now, shut up and eat your mash.
Kelly: Ma, how's Bridget?
Mother: How am I supposed to know? You know what that feckin sister of yours is like.
Darren: Ah now, Ma...
Mother: Don't ah now Ma me, she's a hypocondria!
Darren: hypochondriac, Ma.
Mother: whatever, son, will ya get me a fag outta me purse.
Kelly: That's bad for the baby, Ma.
Nathan: He's yellow like a feckin Simpson.
Mother: don't slag off your brother, he's got jaundice.
Nathan: what's that Ma?
Mother: It makes him look sorta foreigneese.
Darren: Ma, don't you be going on about dem foreigners again.
Mother: comin in to our bleeding country and getting money off the council every week that's a disgrace.
Darren: Da did that too, Ma.
Mother: and your father was a bleeding scavenger!
Kelly: don't talk about our da like that, Ma.
Mother: I remember his last words like it was only yesterday...(baby cries)
' sue, why are ya pushin me in the middle of the road for?!'
| Email this Script
| Add to reading list