Setting: kitchen table, evening: dinner time Kelly: Ma, give us the
salt, will ya? Mother (Sue): I'm trying to feed the young wan can't
ya see that? Move your arse and get it yourself. Kelly: I was only
askin ya Ma. Mother: And I was only tellin ya. Now eat your feckin
dinner before it gets cold. Nathan: Ah here, leave it out! Kelly:
That's ancient ya muppet. Nathan: A did ya hear I battered your wan
in school today, starting on me so she was. Darren: Jaysus, Nato,
ya can't hit a girl. Nathan: can so, she started it so I gave her a
going after, so I did. Kelly: Yah eejit, Nato, eejit. Mother: Now
don't you be going calling your little brother names. He's only a
babby. Darren: He's not a kid anymore, Ma, don't be babying him.
Mother: Now don't you be so condeserting to me mister. Darren: It's
condescending, Ma. Mother: You know what I'm like with me English,
Darren. Now, shut up and eat your mash. Kelly: Ma, how's Bridget?
Mother: How am I supposed to know? You know what that feckin sister
of yours is like. Darren: Ah now, Ma... Mother: Don't ah now Ma me,
she's a hypocondria! Darren: hypochondriac, Ma. Mother: whatever,
son, will ya get me a fag outta me purse. Kelly: That's bad for the
baby, Ma. Nathan: He's yellow like a feckin Simpson. Mother: don't
slag off your brother, he's got jaundice. Nathan: what's that Ma?
Mother: It makes him look sorta foreigneese. Darren: Ma, don't you
be going on about dem foreigners again. Mother: comin in to our
bleeding country and getting money off the council every week
that's a disgrace. Darren: Da did that too, Ma. Mother: and your
father was a bleeding scavenger! Kelly: don't talk about our da
like that, Ma. Mother: I remember his last words like it was only
yesterday...(baby cries) ' sue, why are ya pushin me in the middle
of the road for?!' Kelly/Nathan/Darren: Ma!!!
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