I could say excitement flooded through me at the prospect of going to this party but then I would be lying.
The doorbell rang. I pull on my trainers and grab the present I had got for Miranda as it was her birthday party while jogging out the door to Kelsey’s car who was my lift. We went on to pick up another friend. During the whole journey we just talked about things that held so little significance that if you asked me what we talked an hour later I would not have been able to give you and answer but they put a smile on our faces.
The loud music vibrated from unseen speakers in the dimly lit hall. Immediately I made a beeline for my friends. After making the hellos and hugs required I begin take in my surroundings. The first thing I noticed was that every hand clutched a bottle beer or an alcopop of some description, never had I seen so much booze in the hands of underage drinkers. Nervously I tugged the front of my jumper, feeling uncomfortable at the sight, knowing people will get very drunk very quickly. Not one girl in the room wore trousers but rather short skirts or dress and very dressed up. Self-consciously I re-evaluate the skinnies and white v-neck with blue checked shirt and the Hollister hoodie that I am wearing. When I had put it on that morning I thought it looked nice and would be alright to wear as the invite said ‘wear what you want’ but clearly there’s an unwritten dress code for these things that no one felt the need to inform me about but then this is not really my thing. Having never been to a party like this, I figured it would be like in the movies so everyone would dance, talk and generally have a good time but the reality is different.
Mostly people just drank and flirted. As I trailed my friends around, occasionally making my contribution to the conversation I reminded myself ‘I’m here for Miranda, this is her party and she asked me to come, I’m here for her because she is my friend’. I just felt nervous when others appeared to be having a good time.
When I had emerged from my thoughts I realised that the group had moved to another section of the hall as I moved to follow Miranda appeared from a group and we briefly exchanged a few words and she disappeared just as quickly to talk to others.
Then this guy came up to me with his friend. He introduced himself as Devon. Almost immediately he invaded my personal space, even though I had just met him he his arm round me in a half hug. Quickly I squirmed out of it but he just kept getting too close for comfort so I shuffled back a little. He was creeping me out! Luckily just as he was trying to get his arm around me again one of the other girls at the party splashed a little WKD on me so I had an excuse to jump away again. Taking my chance at escape I disappear to find my friends. Later they meet him too, not through me but through him hitting on them all. I’m quite sure he flirted and hit on every girl here as the night proceeded.
I was chatting with another group when Devon showed up again, this time with an almost empty bottle of whisky and extremely drunk. He began to get closer to me, I try to back away but I’m hemmed in by a small crowd of people from school. His arm goes round me as he put the bottle to my lips and makes me drink. I hear a cheer from the crowd as the bottle is removed from my mouth and I coughed at the strong vapour still hanging around in my throat. Ironically I still liked the taste but no way was I drinking any more of the stuff as I plan on going home sober.
Later I see Devon an arm each around two very drunk friends of mine and insisted on a kiss on the cheek from both and then had the cheek to ask for a kiss on the lips from a third one of my friends, also very drunk and she complied!! Feeling extremely creeped out I glance over to where Lisa was sitting with her boyfriend Callum and his friends. Next thing I know Devon says that if my two friends kissed, who were both girls, he would kiss Callum. I left the group to join Lisa’s group before I witnessed something I really did not want to see. Roughly ten seconds later Devon plants a kiss on Callum’s lips and disappears into the crowd. Callum’s reaction was priceless! He wiped his mouth on his sleeve immediately with a mix of disgust and revulsion and washed his mouth out with the drink he was holding. Lisa’s reaction was almost as good, shock showed clearly on her features and then proceeding to complain how if she kissed Callum it would be like kissing Devon and every other girl he had kissed that night. I along with everyone else that saw, were in fits of laughter.
Throughout the night I was worrying about my friends that were drunk as their judgement was impaired and were hanging out with guys they wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole sober. I kept casting covert glances towards where they were with Devon from where I was sitting with Valerie and Lisa. Valerie was the same we both weren’t really the types to go to these things but we ‘were here for Miranda’ I remind myself for the hundredth time that night. I went and stood for a minute to the side to listen to what a friend was saying and then she got distracted and left. Leaving me on my own for a few microseconds, then Devon showed up. I freaked and panicked not sure what I was supposed to do in this situation as he kept getting closer. My body tensed as I shifted back so as to put more distance between me and him but to no avail, he just kept getting nearer. I caught the eye of Christy a few metres away and mouth with desperation on my face ‘help me’ but she just laughed and did nothing. His arm went round me for the third time that night. I felt like crying. Everything happened so fast after that his face got closer and his lips met my cheek. They were wet and he stank of alcohol. Then I lost it I sprang away from him as if I was bitten by a snake and sped as fast as I could walking towards the door to the fresh air. I needed air, my body felt as if it was shaking. Hayley saw me and followed me out. Shakily I tell her what happened but I find the next words stick in my mouth when she asks me if I’m alright. I just nod. I’m not. I try to tell myself I over reacted. It’s just a little kiss on the cheek nothing wrong with that? Right? But no matter how chaste it was he still managed to make it feel wrong and dirty. No matter the reality I still feel violated. I feel like I’ve lost something, maybe my innocence, and I don’t know how to get it back.
The truth of these parties are never advertised. They tell you to say ‘no’ to drugs and underage drinking but they don’t tell to say ‘no’ to the party itself. I wish I had been warned. I wish I hadn’t gone.