I rolled over and felt my friend's body warmth against me. I
tried to go back to sleep and stop thinking about it. About my
fear... I was one of the few on the outside tonight. We were the
most vulnerable, but my friends assured me I would be ok. I
trusted them. I faced my back to the outside world and closed my
eyes one last time, praying to sleep and stay alive.
I woke back up. Startled. I sat upright. It was just a dream... I am safe. Nothing will harm me. I battled with myself for hours, forcing myself to believe something that wasn't true. I didn't know I would be fine. I had no idea if I was safe or not. Finally, my eyelids drooped. Tired of trying to keep them open, I fell into a deep sleep.
I remember my dream that night. I was walking hand in hand with my brother. The same brother who had been taken by them many years ago. He put his arm around me and told me to never give up. No matter how many times you think of letting go... don't. I remember smiling and then being roughly woken up. He put his face right up to mine and covered my mouth and then hit me in the stomach. Hard.
I kept thinking it was all still a dream until I realized the pain was too real and that they were carrying me away from the only home I knew. I started to struggle and kick and scream against his hand, but nothing happened. He kept hitting me. I felt numb. The pain.The realization of my worst nightmare coming true was all too much. What was happening to me? All those rumors... All those stories about men taking us from our beds... They were true. Who was he anyways? How could he do this? Whoever it was... Were they taken to? What kind of fear would make someone do something like this? I kept kicking. Trying to get away. His grip suddenly softened and he started to speak in whispers. I felt dizzy and lightheaded, i was going to fall asleep any time. My head fell back, and before everything went black, I looked up into his face and saw my brother. I couldn't read his emotion, but as a tear fell down his face I knew that my whole life had changed in a spilt second and it was his fault. I never knew what it was like to feel real fear. To be afraid for your life. Now I do. I always thought my brother would be my knight in shining armor. He would come rescue me... But now all he was doing was carrying me towards my death. I would never forgive him for this, but even as he carried me away, his words played over in my head. Never give up. Don't let go. I won't. I never will.~~
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