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The Silent Shade of Grey

Short Story By: controverse
Literary Fiction


His shade of grey is particularly silent today. CLICK TO READ --> COMES WITH FREE SUBSCRIPTION OF SUGAR PILLS -->

OMG!!! Controverse wrote a short story!!! I like this one and I guess you can tell it's a lot more "poetic" than most short stories. I enjoy reading and writing things that is more subtle, and to me the way something is represented is very important plot is almost secondary. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it :) View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 6, 2008    Reads: 61    Comments: 8    Likes: 3   


He stood by the dimly-lit intersection and waited.

 

It was the middle of the night, it was empty, and it not for the rustling of the leaves it would almost be dauntingly silent. He looked around and it was still eerily empty, and the soft breeze lightly ruffled the corners of his grey suit jacket.

 

The next time he moved was when, a few hours later, his hair got in his eyes, which he casually brushed aside. No cars had passed.

 

When the ground he stood on began facing the sun, the moon vanished into the gradient sky and the stars scurried away. The breeze had stopped, and the streets were empty.

 

The soft pat-pat-pat of her footsteps didn’t come even when the sun peaked out and lighted the skies.

 

The sun rose and hid behind clouds again, and still she wasn’t there. Cars began to pass and the headlights hurt his eyes, and he stood motionless nonetheless.

 

The sun was bright in the afternoon and the streets were empty again. Finally, a soft pat-pat-pat could be heard echoing in the silent streets. And in some seconds, an illuminated figure showed herself against the drastic sky. He turned his head to follow her jog as her hair flowed out gently behind her and her worn runners went up and down. She passed again without a single glance, her feet going pat-pat-pat on the streets as she disappeared past the intersection. He smiled and slowly walked home.

 

Rain poured down in the afternoon and she still didn’t come. An old lady had come up to him with a silver umbrella, asking him if he was all right, and many cars have passed the intersection, some splashing puddles of muddy water over his grey suit. He kept standing there, unmoving, waiting for the jogging lady.

 

The downpour didn’t cease until it was dark again, and she never came. When the man stood at the dimly-lit intersection finally looked down, he watched in horror as the ground beneath him crumbled away.

 

He managed to scream before he fell.


3

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Comments:

o.O
whoa

i think that was the deepest short story i read... wow. ha. ok. i'm going to give my interp. though i promise it won't be anything good hahahaha
this was just packed with symbolism... and i don't think much of it should even be taken literally. everything represents something in a way.

i saw it as here's this guy. yes he's literally waiting for this girl and he stands there motionless as the day goes on and cars pass by. however, i see symbolically it saying: here's this guy who's waiting for love and he continues to wait, and he will wait for love, letting the world pass him by. he's stoic without it - hm and when i think stoic, i think GREY! grey is a dull, lifeless color - thus without love he is vapid.
but then she, love, comes! just for a moment though. love touches his heart, enough to change that look on his face to a smile :) but she doesn't even glance at him... so she could also be an actual person. someone he loves deeply, but she doesn't love him back. hm. is that not glancing symbolic in any way?
and then she come home.
which i see it as, love never really came into his life and settled down like you settle down in your home. nothing to last a long time - b/c it didnt settle. hm. i tend to get a bit repetitive when i try explaining stuff so don't mind me hahaha
"he watched in horror as the ground beneath him crumbled away" - deeeeeeep!
i see the ground him standing on to be his heart... or his emotions... or his capability of loving... something like that... b/c the ground is sturdy enough to keep him waiting in the beginning, but then it crumbles in the end - thus his ability to love crumbles - but its that "watched in horror" that makes this really depressing.
b/c he WATCHED it all happen. watched himself die emotionally... and he screams - i find when i scream, usually its b/c its something unexpected you know? you don't scream if you know something is going to happen. so it was like, yes he was watching his love life fall apart before his eyes - he never KNEW that he would die emotionally. just though perhaps it was a rocky road, and it would get better (that's why he kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting!)

and then it ends...

wow.

this is brilliant!!!!! i loved it!
fantastic work controverse!!!

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

I really enjoy your interpretation cuz, well, for one, it's almost exactly what I meant :D I tried to convey that the girl has always come and he has always seen her except for today. Yes it's like what you said, the man has settled into a routine of waiting, and not doing anything. He doesn't change and keeps waiting while the world changes, and finally the girl doesn't show up one day, the only anchor he has that has not changed, now dissappears, and his world crumbles because of that. It's the first short story I wrote in a while and I'm really glad you liked it! :D Thanks for compliments

oh i was reading through my comment after i posted and of course i mistype something -_-
i meant to say

"and then she *doesnt* come home. which i see it as..."

my bad -_-' i'm sure you knew what i meant though lol i just felt the need to clear that up incase of confusion!

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Ahaha I figured ;)

oh one more thing - i want my free subscription of sugar pills now please and thank you! chop chop!

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

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I am gonna have to read it again-it is a bit strange, but I'm sure I'll get within it, the second time around...your above response to alice is hilarious though-good one, I want mine too!!!;D

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Ahaha you know what to do for your sugar pills ^-^

Yea I agree it's a strange story...but that's the kind I like to read and write :D ty for comment

This is a hauntingly beautiful sad story. To me it reads like someone waiting for the love of their life. Eventally he realises she is not coming, something terrible has happened, perhaps she has died in an accident and his worls as he knows it ends. ("he watched in horror as the ground beneath him crumbled away. He managed to scream before he fell.") I say this because that is the way I felt when people close to me have died, like your world as you knew it, the world you were happy in had suddenly disintegrated never to be the same again.
Beautifully written. Lovely indeed.

Posted: Jul 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you for your comments :) I really appreciate them.

world not worls!!!! (from the worst typer in the worls - that is world!)

Posted: Jul 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Ahaha I didn't even notice it until you point it out

Very sad and deep. I think Alice hit the nail on the head with her interpretation. A song did come to mind as I was reading it, though. It's called "Rain" by Concrete Blonde.
"Thought I heard a footstep,
Thought I heard the phone,
Standing on the doorstep
Listening alone
And all I hear is rain...
...
I search in vain,
I wonder where you are,
Watching the rain,
And it makes me remember,
Things I've tried to say"


MA

Posted: Jul 31, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you very much for your compliment :)

I'm terrible with interpertation sometimes, well, most of the times I guess. I took it literal, like he fell in a sink hole, from all the rain. Maybe all the rain was really his tears. Now I am just babbling. All I know is that I did like it. Ted :)

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Ahaha...I enjoyed your interpretation and it made me smile! Thanks for commenting



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